Over Valentine’s Day I talked with many people and I kept hearing a recurring theme about not being loved or not having kindness reciprocated. This is a very common theme in relationships: one person expects one thing only to have their hopes dashed, the other seems oblivious.
The difficulty arises when we hold on to our expectations even when we see repeated evidence that we will never get what we expect. Expectations then become more of a hindrance than help. Some people hang on to expectations perhaps mistakenly thinking they stand for hope.
Hope is really greatly affected by the actions we take. If we move in directions that lead us down the same path no amount of hope can change the course. If, however, we do things differently then we can begin entertaining hope that things will change because we are actually breaking the patterns we’ve established.
Changing the way we do things is the only way to modify our situation. No amount of hope or expectations can take the place of real communication and work in our relationships. The great news is that we can do things to change the course of our relationships, they just take some courage and movement in a different direction.