The Self-Awareness Guy

How to Fix a Family Problem

For much of history we have viewed the family as a unit that helped us
with survival. We depended on each other because there was strength and
security in numbers. Recentdevelopments in society and technology have
allowed us to experience the family differently than we used to. We now
are able to work on making our families as healthy as possible – a
concept that ourancestors never even contemplated.

With this new ability to improve the health of our families comes a great
opportunity to enjoy our family relationships like never before. We
also get to face challenges in new ways. In the past we let conflict
fester and continue throughout our lives. We didn’t have the tools to
actually fix things. Now we do and coaching gives families some tools
they can use to increase the happiness in their homes.

Some basic things you can think about when a family problem arises include:

What is the problem really about?
Do you know what each family member thinks about the problem?
Have you all worked together to come up with possible solutions?
Is everyone’s voice listened to and given equal weight?
Does everyone know how to listen to other points of view?
Can people deal with conflict without escalating?
Is conflict an opportunity for change in your family?
How are your communication skills?
Do you have a consistent system for resolving problems in the family?
Do you ask for neutral help or advice from uninvolved third parties?

Resolving problems in the family has a lot to do with the skills and experiences
we bring to the table. A lot of us repeat the patterns we saw at home
but we now have the benefit of new strategies to actually resolve
problems rather than perpetuating them. Consider some of the following
ideas for your family:

Develop a conflict resolution strategy.
Develop communication skills.
Develop listening skills.
Work together.

It’s amazing how those four basic elements can help families resolve
problems. Most of our families are not set up to fix problems, just
make them go away temporarily. I love working with parents to create
new ways of actually fixing problems in the family. I enjoy helping
people enjoy their families more.

A coach can help you figure out what is going on in your family and help you develop a plan to fix it. You get to decide what you want to do and how you are going to do



0 thoughts on “How to Fix a Family Problem

  1. Anonymous

    How do you go about fixing problems in a family when one of the members has depression. It’s hard to talk things out with her because she is so defensive and the fact is that most of the times she is the root of the problem. You can’t say that to her because of the depression. How does one put an end to this viscous cycle?

  2. The Relationship Guy

    A couple of ideas come to mind that help families deal with challenges.

    1. Encourage the person to seek professional treatment for depression separate from the family. Let the person know that the family supports them 100% on any treatment they seek and that no one will interfere or pass judment.

    2. As a family, work with a therapist or coach to learn how to create a dynamic that allows all members to talk about any situation that arises. Families can learn communication skills and ways to talk about even the most difficult subjects by working with a neutral, outside person that helps everyone get on the same page.

    Hope that helps,