People often ask me why they keep dating the wrong people. The answer that they most often come up with after some self-exploration is that they are looking for people based on mistaken assumptions.
Most of us look for people that create a spark, that excite us into wanting to get to know them better. This method creates an initial euphoria that blinds us to understanding clearly what we want from relationships. We become so intoxicated with romance that we are unable to make rational decisions.
What I help people with is building self-awareness. When we understand who we are and what we love and need we tend to make better choices regarding relationships. If we don’t know ourselves very well or don’t like ourselves we tend to attract people that reinforce that. When we understand ourselves better and are healthier we tend to attract more positive people.
There really is no magic to this process. What’s been shown to work time after time is that people who are healthy attract other healthy people. All it takes is some work first on getting ourselves as healthy mentally and physically as possible. Then we attract people who admire us for the wonderful, healthy people we are.