Many of us learn how to function in relationships from what we saw our parents do or learned from our friends. The patterns we learn are often hard to move away from even when they are consistently negative or don’t make us feel better as people.
Why is it then that people seem to stay stuck in non-productive relationships rather than working on finding new and more rewarding ways of doing things? In my experience it is due to our comfort in the familiar and fear of the unknown. As strange as it sounds when viewed objectively, we often stay with what we know because we think it is more comfortable.
The great thing is that we can often experience far greater joy and reward in doing something new. Learning new behaviors that lead us in positive directions can result in resolving chronic relationship problems, finding new and positive relationships and treating ourselves better.
Try this sometime: Examine your existing relationship and decide on one thing that could change to improve the relationship. Work on that one thing consistently over time. Seek outside help if you need an objective point of view. Once you start establishing a new pattern things will begin moving in a different direction.
People often tell me they never knew their relationships were so stuck until they introduced new behaviors. They are often surprised at how good things can get and frequently tell me that they are glad they consciously worked on breaking the patterns they had established in their relationships and trying new ones.