The Self-Awareness Guy

relationship advice

Fighting with Family

Fighting with Family

Conflict can be especially painful when it involves family. My clients often ask me what to do about a family member who they can’t get along with. It can be tricky to deal with family because there are often rules we are expected to follow in our families.

We feel a sense of duty toward family but that doesn’t give people some free pass to hurt each other. Ideally we treat everyone with the same dignity and respect whether they are family or not.

Here’s a couple of things to think about:

1. Respect your needs and beliefs first.
2. Inform your family about what you want. Set limits and boundaries.
3. Inform your family you are available to work things out.
4. Work with them to resolve the conflict.
5. Set the example for how you want to be treated.
6. Take some time away if things get heated.
7. Expect resistance.

You are your own unique person regardless of what your family says. It’s ultimately healthiest to pay attention to the things that bring you joy and happiness than to try to mold yourself into someone else’s vision. Trust yourself and teach your family who you are. Do it with kindness and patience and eventually they will understand who you are.

Cheers,

Guy



Deal with Workplace Conflict in 6 Steps

Deal with Workplace Conflict in 6 Steps

Some leaders seem to enjoy workplace conflict and some run screaming from it but both approaches have the same result: They don’t make the situation better.  Savvy leaders understand that conflict is a signal that something important is happening and that they need to pay attention to it.  Conflict is also a great opportunity to bring co-workers together and improve how our workplaces function.  Try these steps the next time you have an issue with a co-worker:

1.  Name the conflict (keep it simple, one sentence or less).

2.  Each of you describe how you see the conflict.

3.  Brainstorm a few ideas to fix the conflict.

4.  Agree and choose one of the ideas from the brainstorm to work on.

5.  Each of you decides what you will work on and by when.

6.  Get an outside person involved if you are still having difficulty working together.

I’ve found that if two people just sit down and agree to talk (respectfully and without shouting) they can resolve even the most complex situations.  It’s wonderful to see two people come to an agreement and figure out a way to resolve a nagging issue; like a weight has been lifted off their back.

Remember that dealing with workplace conflict isn’t a quick fix that happens immediately.  It takes people agreeing to sit down with each other and working together to develop new solutions over time.

Cheers,

Guy



Self-Awareness and Seeing the Big Picture

Self-Awareness and Seeing the Big Picture

A lot of people think that working on their self-awareness is a selfish pursuit but they may be missing the point. When you deeply understand why you think or act the way you do, you move from being someone who lives unconsciously to someone who understands the implications surrounding their thoughts and behaviors. For example: If you get mad at friends or family all the time, you're behaving in a way that is specific and limited, whereas if you take the time to think about what you're doing and how you can move in a positive direction, you increase your ability to see things from a wider perspective.

You can choose to live life based only on what you think, feel and do in the moment but you'll be much happier and fulfilled if you pause and think about all the other options available to you. What will you do to use your self-awareness to see the big picture?

Take care

Guy



Self-Awareness and How You Treat Other People

Self-Awareness and How You Treat Other People

Many individuals walk through life missing the self-awareness to understand how their thoughts and actions impact others. One of the hallmarks of understanding yourself well is that it helps you be so happy and balanced that you treat other people well. The better you feel about yourself, the easier it is to interact positively with other human beings and create a more positive world. Here are some signs that you practice self-awareness and treat others with care and compassion:

  • You experience positive results from your interactions with others.
  • You create meaningful friendships.
  • You feel good deep inside.
  • Your relationships are reciprocally satisfying.
  • You don't have a lot of enemies.
  • People generally say nice things about you.
  • You experience very little conflict with others.
  • Your default behaviors are kindness and empathy.

I these outcomes sound familiar, you know how wonderful it feels to like yourself and others. Life is too short to behave negatively and step on others when there are so many other more positive options. What will you do to treat others wonderfully?

Cheers,

Guy

Dating Coaching and Self-Awareness

Dating Coaching and Self-Awareness

People often ask me why they keep dating the wrong people. The answer that they most often come up with after some self-exploration is that they are looking for people based on mistaken assumptions.

Most of us look for people that create a spark, that excite us into wanting to get to know them better. This method creates an initial euphoria that blinds us to understanding clearly what we want from relationships. We become so intoxicated with romance that we are unable to make rational decisions.

What I help people with is building self-awareness. When we understand who we are and what we love and need we tend to make better choices regarding relationships. If we don’t know ourselves very well or don’t like ourselves we tend to attract people that reinforce that. When we understand ourselves better and are healthier we tend to attract more positive people.

There really is no magic to this process. What’s been shown to work time after time is that people who are healthy attract other healthy people. All it takes is some work first on getting ourselves as healthy mentally and physically as possible. Then we attract people who admire us for the wonderful, healthy people we are.

Cheers,

Guy