Leaders who lack self-awareness often become so consumed with their own day-to-day experiences and perceptions of their environment that they forget that other people exist and have needs too. This behavior leads to a communication style based on a lack of meaningful connection and understanding between leadership and employees.
A frequently overlooked element of effective communication is empathy; the ability to understand what other people are going through from their perspective. When you master this skill, you communicate on a much deeper level because you’re being self-aware and connecting below the surface. It’s the difference between having civil but superficial conversations and genuinely understanding people.
My consulting clients often ask me why people behave the way they do and what they can do about it. That’s where self-awareness, empathy, and effective communication come in. When you communicate on a deeper level you move from being surprised by what people do to understanding their behavior. That’s because you’ve made a shift from assuming you know what they’re thinking and feeling to finding out what they’re really going through. How can you develop this skill? Try the following ideas:
1. Stop talking and listen actively instead.
2. Put yourself in the other person’s situation and imagine you’re experiencing the same thing from their vantage point.
3. When the other person is done talking, ask open-ended questions to encourage him or her to tell you more.
4. Remind yourself that what they’re saying isn’t about you, it’s about how they experience the world.
5. Strive to accept anything the person says as their perception rather than something that threatens you or must be changed.
When you use empathy as part of effective communication you move beyond being in the room with someone and saying words. You connect with them in a more meaningful way. Think in terms of how you feel when someone really values and appreciates what you’re thinking and feeling.
Empathy is about demonstrating that you value other people’s perspectives. They may not think exactly as you do but their thoughts mean as much to them as yours mean to you. Once you can empathize with someone else’s experience, you’re communicating in a way that shows them you respect where they’re coming from.
What will you do to develop self-awareness and empathy and practice effective communication?
Cheers,
Guy