The Self-Awareness Guy
10 Self-Awareness Examples

10 Self-Awareness Examples


People often ask me to give them examples of self-awareness, here are ten:

  1. You recognize your strengths.
  2. You're able to identify your areas for improvement and actively work on them.
  3. Your emotions, thoughts, and behaviors move you in a positive direction.
  4. You're comfortable around other people's emotions, even when they're intense.
  5. You are always working on understanding yourself better and living consciously.
  6. You actively seek help to resolve the hurts from your past.
  7. You understand how your emotions, thoughts, and behaviors affect not only you, but also others.
  8. You are able to manage your self-talk and distinguish between reality and fiction.
  9. You are comfortable socially.
  10. You are pursuing a life that reflects who you really are deep down inside.

Developing self-awareness doesn't just happen by reading a book or attending a workshop, it's a process of working on yourself and understanding how you function and how it affects you and the world around you. What are you doing to increase your self-awareness?

Cheers,

Guy



Empathy Helps Build Better Relationships

Empathy Helps Build Better Relationships


It’s easy to become so focused on our own experience that we forget that other people exist. In relationships, walking in someone else’s shoes is a great approach to really understanding other people and helps us build empathy for others. Empathy is the ability to understand someone else’s experience and point of view.

People often ask me why it is that someone does such and such or this and that. I suggest that we can figure out what people are going through and understand them much better if we just put ourselves in their situation. In this way, we can learn about them without projecting our own needs and opinions on them. Try a few of the following things to increase your empathic ability:

1. Listen actively without talking.
2. Put yourself in that person’s situation and imagine you are going through the same thing.
3. Ask questions that allow the person to tell you more about themselves instead of yes and no questions.
4. Keep in mind that what you are hearing isn’t about you; it’s about them.
5. Try to accept anything the person says as simply their reality rather than something you have to react to.

Try these a few times over a period of time. Empathy is about really understanding that there are other valid points of view in the world. Those perspectives may not be ours but they mean as much to that person as our worldview does to us. Once you can connect with someone else’s reality, you’re own your way to really understanding other people and showing them that you respect where they are coming from.

Cheers,

Guy

Dating Advice and Online Romance

Dating Advice and Online Romance

One proven way to find dates is to work on yourself first and do the things you love. Too often we spend a disproportionate amount of time trying to find the perfect person or mold someone else into what we would like rather than first understanding who we are and what we are looking for. The people who prove to be the most successful in dating at a meaningful level are those who surround themselves with people and activities that they really enjoy.

When you work on yourself and do things you love you begin moving your life in a direction where you move amongst people who have interests like yours. Find what it is that really makes you happy and move in those circles. In that way, you increase your chances of meeting someone who actually shares your interests and philosophy.

Get yourself as healthy as possible and you will attract the same. The better you feel about yourself the more it wards off the people who love misery. You attract what you project. When you are healthy you realize that you deserve to be treated well and you tend to attract people who are in a similar state of mind. When you are unhealthy, people see you coming and you will attract people who are willing to capitalize on your vulnerability or share their misery with you.

A thought on online romance. We frequently rely on the internet to connect with others but there is a lot to be said for giving up the safety and fantasy of sitting at a computer for the greater challenge of meeting people face to face. Enjoy getting out there in the real world and show people who you are in person and that you deserve a healthy, rewarding relationship.

Cheers,

Guy

Loving Yourself

Loving Yourself

Do you know someone who loudly proclaims that they respect and love themselves and then get trampled mercilessly by every person who comes into their lives? Do you know someone who constantly agonizes with heartache but never seems to put it behind them? Many of us navigate the waters of relationships focusing almost entirely on the other person’s needs. We invest prodigious amounts of time and energy into making someone else happy or worrying about how they’re doing while ignoring the most important person in the room, us. Why is it we go through such elaborate planning to mold our lives around someone else only to find ourselves losing our self-identity and wishing for better relationships?

Somewhere along the way we lose sight of the importance of caring for ourselves. Taking care of ourselves first is a critically important step in creating fulfilling relationships in our lives but we don’t do it consistently. We benefit from tending to our own needs first so we can be in great shape to attract positive, vibrant people into our lives and share great relationships. So how do we do that? The good news is that there are many straightforward things we can do, starting today, to take care of ourselves and begin the process of respecting and loving ourselves. We can consciously become healthy and happy by learning what respect is. Take some time to find out what your needs are.

Cheers,

Guy

Developing Self-Awareness: 2 Exercises

Developing Self-Awareness: 2 Exercises

Here are two exercises for developing self-awareness.

1. The Personal Inventory

The way this self-awareness exercise works is that it requires that you actively look at yourself and start working on the things that don't lead in a positive direction in your life. The process of working on certain issues helps you gain better insight into the areas of your life that might benefit from some extra attention.

  • In a notebook divide a page into two columns, label one column "Positive" and the other "Other Than Positive."
  • Write down all the positive things you feel, think, and do in the "Positive" column.
  • Write down the things you think, feel, and do that lead in an "Other Than Positive" column.
  • Read the items in the "Positive" column and praise yourself for each item.
  • Look at your "Other Than Positive" column and pick the one item that seems the easiest to deal with. Once you pick a single item, decide on one action you will do to improve that item. Each subsequent day keep picking something to deal with that same item until it is no longer an issue that leads you in a less than positive direction.
  • Once your "Other Than Positive" item is no longer an issue, go back to the first step and repeat the entire process.
  • Repeat this exercise until you have very few "Other Than Positive" items.
  • Remember that developing self-awareness takes months, years, and will likely require a lifetime of commitment to learning and growing.

2. Looking Deep Inside

In this self-awareness exercise you get to take a deeper look at your emotions. A key element of self-awareness is the ability to look deep within and understand who your really are deep down inside and why you feel, think, and do what you do. Here's how it works:

  • Think of an issue that creates a lot of discomfort in your life.
  • Label that issue with one of these four emotions (whichever fits the best): Anger, Sadness, Happiness, Fear.
  • Once you have chosen a single label then allow yourself five minutes to think of the issue and the emotion attached to it. After five minutes, write down your impressions of what you felt.
  • Keep repeating this exercise until you have a strong sense that the discomfort is no longer there or is greatly lessened.
  • Pick another issue and repeat the entire process.
  • Remember that this isn't a one-time activity, it requires long-term commitment to developing your self-awareness.

You'll find these exercises are challenging, some people even find them nearly impossible at first, but that's the whole point of self-awareness; it's a gradual process that takes time and repeated effort. So that you don't get overloaded, I would recommend you work on these exercises on alternating weeks until you get really good at doing them, at which time you can do them simultaneously; the idea is to keep working on them until they become second nature. You'll find that your self-awareness will naturally increase as you do the exercises. Please feel free to share your progress in the comments section below this post or contact me directly, I'd love to hear how you're doing.

Cheers,

Guy