The Self-Awareness Guy
Dating Advice and Online Romance

Dating Advice and Online Romance


One proven way to find dates is to work on yourself first and do the things you love. Too often we spend a disproportionate amount of time trying to find the perfect person or mold someone else into what we would like rather than first understanding who we are and what we are looking for. The people who prove to be the most successful in dating at a meaningful level are those who surround themselves with people and activities that they really enjoy.

When you work on yourself and do things you love you begin moving your life in a direction where you move amongst people who have interests like yours. Find what it is that really makes you happy and move in those circles. In that way, you increase your chances of meeting someone who actually shares your interests and philosophy.

Get yourself as healthy as possible and you will attract the same. The better you feel about yourself the more it wards off the people who love misery. You attract what you project. When you are healthy you realize that you deserve to be treated well and you tend to attract people who are in a similar state of mind. When you are unhealthy, people see you coming and you will attract people who are willing to capitalize on your vulnerability or share their misery with you.

A thought on online romance. We frequently rely on the internet to connect with others but there is a lot to be said for giving up the safety and fantasy of sitting at a computer for the greater challenge of meeting people face to face. Enjoy getting out there in the real world and show people who you are in person and that you deserve a healthy, rewarding relationship.

Cheers,

Guy



Loving Yourself

Loving Yourself


Do you know someone who loudly proclaims that they respect and love themselves and then get trampled mercilessly by every person who comes into their lives? Do you know someone who constantly agonizes with heartache but never seems to put it behind them? Many of us navigate the waters of relationships focusing almost entirely on the other person’s needs. We invest prodigious amounts of time and energy into making someone else happy or worrying about how they’re doing while ignoring the most important person in the room, us. Why is it we go through such elaborate planning to mold our lives around someone else only to find ourselves losing our self-identity and wishing for better relationships?

Somewhere along the way we lose sight of the importance of caring for ourselves. Taking care of ourselves first is a critically important step in creating fulfilling relationships in our lives but we don’t do it consistently. We benefit from tending to our own needs first so we can be in great shape to attract positive, vibrant people into our lives and share great relationships. So how do we do that? The good news is that there are many straightforward things we can do, starting today, to take care of ourselves and begin the process of respecting and loving ourselves. We can consciously become healthy and happy by learning what respect is. Take some time to find out what your needs are.

Cheers,

Guy

Developing Self-Awareness: 2 Exercises

Developing Self-Awareness: 2 Exercises

Here are two exercises for developing self-awareness.

1. The Personal Inventory

The way this self-awareness exercise works is that it requires that you actively look at yourself and start working on the things that don't lead in a positive direction in your life. The process of working on certain issues helps you gain better insight into the areas of your life that might benefit from some extra attention.

  • In a notebook divide a page into two columns, label one column "Positive" and the other "Other Than Positive."
  • Write down all the positive things you feel, think, and do in the "Positive" column.
  • Write down the things you think, feel, and do that lead in an "Other Than Positive" column.
  • Read the items in the "Positive" column and praise yourself for each item.
  • Look at your "Other Than Positive" column and pick the one item that seems the easiest to deal with. Once you pick a single item, decide on one action you will do to improve that item. Each subsequent day keep picking something to deal with that same item until it is no longer an issue that leads you in a less than positive direction.
  • Once your "Other Than Positive" item is no longer an issue, go back to the first step and repeat the entire process.
  • Repeat this exercise until you have very few "Other Than Positive" items.
  • Remember that developing self-awareness takes months, years, and will likely require a lifetime of commitment to learning and growing.

2. Looking Deep Inside

In this self-awareness exercise you get to take a deeper look at your emotions. A key element of self-awareness is the ability to look deep within and understand who your really are deep down inside and why you feel, think, and do what you do. Here's how it works:

  • Think of an issue that creates a lot of discomfort in your life.
  • Label that issue with one of these four emotions (whichever fits the best): Anger, Sadness, Happiness, Fear.
  • Once you have chosen a single label then allow yourself five minutes to think of the issue and the emotion attached to it. After five minutes, write down your impressions of what you felt.
  • Keep repeating this exercise until you have a strong sense that the discomfort is no longer there or is greatly lessened.
  • Pick another issue and repeat the entire process.
  • Remember that this isn't a one-time activity, it requires long-term commitment to developing your self-awareness.

You'll find these exercises are challenging, some people even find them nearly impossible at first, but that's the whole point of self-awareness; it's a gradual process that takes time and repeated effort. So that you don't get overloaded, I would recommend you work on these exercises on alternating weeks until you get really good at doing them, at which time you can do them simultaneously; the idea is to keep working on them until they become second nature. You'll find that your self-awareness will naturally increase as you do the exercises. Please feel free to share your progress in the comments section below this post or contact me directly, I'd love to hear how you're doing.

Cheers,

Guy

Tips for Building Self-Awareness

Tips for Building Self-Awareness

Here are some tips for building self-awareness:

  • Be willing to take an honest look at yourself.
  • Celebrate your strengths.
  • Be ready to let go of old thoughts and behaviors.
  • Look at the issues in your life you want to resolve.
  • Select an issue you want to work on.
  • Brainstorm some ideas of how to deal with the issue.
  • Pick one idea to start working on.
  • Evaluate your progress.
  • Repeat the process.

Increasing your self-awareness is an ongoing, lifelong process. It's not a quick fix because it takes time to get to know the real you and learn new strategies to live authentically. What will you do to start building self-awareness?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Awareness Is about You

Self-Awareness Is about You

It's hard to experience self-awareness if you decide you don't want to work on it. You have a lot of power to decide what you're willing to do. You can move forward confidently or you can put up obstacles. The only person who chooses whether you grow and succeed is you.

Take some time to think of the areas in your life you'd like to improve and what would make you feel happy and balanced. Then it's up to you to determine where you want to start and what you're willing to do. The key in self-awareness is to live authentically and take action on the things that will help you live a genuine life.

Cheers,

Guy