One of the most valuable skills self-aware leaders use to encourage effective communication is listening. Many leaders say they’re good listeners but most aren’t. It’s not because they don’t want to listen but rather because our workplaces and leadership styles aren’t designed to promote listening.
Here are some things you can do to be a leader who possess self-awareness and listens well:
1. Don’t talk.
2. Nod and prompt the other person to say more.
3. Ask open-ended questions that don’t have yes or no answers.
4. Lean forward and look interested.
5. Don’t think of the next thing you’re going to say.
6. Don’t think of how you’re going to rebut or contradict a point.
7. Don’t talk.
How many of these behaviors do you practice in the course of your workplace communication? Really listening means listening attentively for meaning. We all understand words but do we really understand what the other person is feeling? Pay attention to what the other person looks like when he or she talks, their demeanor or body language. Do they look upset, do they look confused? Ask open-ended questions that help the other person talk more rather than offering advice or opinions.
If you try some of these ideas you can learn a lot about your employees, co-workers and clients. I also encourage leaders to practice having conversations where they don’t talk at all and just nod. It’s remarkable what you can learn when you don’t talk.
What will you do to develop self-awareness and be a good listener?
Cheers,
Guy