A lack of self-awareness leads to one of the most toxic dynamics in many of our families, relationships, workplaces, and organizations: authoritarianism, the need to impose one’s will and beliefs on others. It all seems fine and good when it’s a parent trying to teach a child not to run out into the street, but it never stops at that, it almost always metamorphoses into a raging urgency to tell the kid what to do in every circumstance—what to believe, what career to pursue, how to live, what kind of relationships he/she should have, how to think.
Many people who lack self-awareness have a built-in need to impose their will on others, regardless of the consequences. I’ve found that a far more positive approach is to be supportive of people, to be there if they need me and to let them do their thing if they don’t. I trust that individuals are smart enough to make their own decisions and that they will ask for help if they need it. I believe in each person’s ability to chart their own course and live their own lives. My only function is to be there to cheer them on.
I can hear the sound of people screaming for power and control as I write this, so entrenched is the need to dominate others. Self-awareness means having the insight to put your stuff aside so that you can interact positively with others and show them that they matter too.
What will you do to develop self-awareness and avoid imposing authority on others?
Cheers,
Guy