Emotional intelligence and self-aware leadership are intimately linked because leaders who are able to deal with and manage their (and other people’s) emotions get more work done with less effort and build healthier workplaces.
Many leaders and employees get nervous when the topic of emotions in the workplace comes up. Emotions are important in the workplace because they affect how we all function and relate to one another. Emotions matter because we aren’t robots, we’re human beings who have feelings whether we choose to acknowledge it or not.
The mistake many leaders who lack self-awareness make is trying to ignore, redirect, or suppress their employees’ natural feelings. This creates workplaces where people aren’t sure how to express their emotions and where things can quickly go out of control.
The officially sanctioned workplace feelings are: anger, numbness and fake happiness. Beyond that, people quickly become uncomfortable. Here are some ideas to help leaders and employees develop their self-awareness and emotional intelligence; welcome all the emotions they experience; and deal with them openly and comfortably:
- When someone has an emotion let it happen and be there for them without reacting negatively or defensively.
- Listen to what people have to say when they’re feeling an emotion.
- Avoid ignoring or pretending the emotion isn’t happening.
- Stay away from saying things like, “Get over it,” “Everything’s OK,” or “Calm yourself down.” Phrases like these tell the person that their emotions don’t matter.
- Move past the, “This isn’t appropriate in the workplace,” mentality to, “What can we learn from this situation and how can we validate people.”
- Deal with emotions when they are manageable to avoid having to try to contain them when they’re out of control.
- Institute a true open-door policy where people can talk with you about what they’re feeling without any fear of retaliation or punishment.
- Work on your own ability to deal with any emotion that comes your way, including the ones you feel.
- Set a positive example of how to express emotions appropriately.
The goal at work (and in life) is to view emotions as an indication that something is going on rather than a threat that has to be avoided at all costs. When you and your employees understand that emotions are a normal part of work life, you’ll all build a happier, more balanced workplace where people feel safe to express themselves honestly and openly.
What will you do to develop self-awareness and be an emotionally intelligent leader?
Cheers,
Guy