Self-Consciousness

Self-Awareness and Being Damaged

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Self-awareness is a quality that is in short supply in deeply damaged people because they tend to behave unconsciously, based on their inner pain. When someone is hurt at a core level and lashes out based on those inner wounds, it’s a visceral reaction rather than one based on careful deliberation. Here are some characteristics of a deeply damaged person:

  • Thinking, feeling and behaving negatively based on past hurts.
  • Lack of empathy toward others.
  • Rigid thinking and inability to consider other points of view.
  • Inability to heal.
  • Reluctance to change, stuck in current way of doing things.
  • Lashing out at others based on unresolved issues inside himself.
  • Unwilling to examine what causes his inner turmoil.
  • Lack of understanding of what will really make him happy.
  • Seeks approval from people who don’t really value him.
  • Pattern of negative relationships.
  • Harsh, hard, commanding personality on the outside, fragile on the inside.
  • Lies to self and others to justify incongruous, inconsistent thoughts and beliefs.
  • Treats other people poorly, a reflection of his inner feelings about himself.

If you’ve ever met a person like this, you’ve probably gotten a creepy feeling about them, unless you fall into this category, in which case the behavior seems normal. Thankfully, even deeply troubled people can change the course of their lives by replacing their old thoughts and behaviors with more positive ones. It’s a long and arduous process, but anyone with the will to let go of the damage and love themselves is capable of doing it.

The key to being genuinely happy in life is to think and behave positively to make the world a better place for yourself and others. Self-awareness allows you to take a careful, meaningful look at yourself and heal the hurts that keep you from being your true, shiny self. What will you do to move beyond the damage?

Cheers,

Guy

self-awareness consulting

Unhappy People Lack Self-Awareness

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Years ago, I had to interact with this unhappy person who was always stomping around in a state of heightened agitation and unease. I remember feeling drained and annoyed by what seemed to be a person who lacked self-awareness, was always in his own little world, and didn’t seem to care about anyone else but himself. I always wanted to tell him that there was so much more to life than being miserable and upset all the time, or that he didn’t have to get his stuff on others.

Then I realized that I was the unhappy person. Regardless of how he was behaving, it was I who was becoming upset about the things he was doing. For many years after this realization, I worked hard on calming and healing myself instead of focusing on others. Where once I would get perturbed by someone like him, I eventually learned to handle it.

The moral of the story is that we have within us the power to react any way we want to any person or event in our lives. Self-awareness means possessing the balance within you to find calm in the heaviest storm. What will you do about the unhappy person in your life?

Cheers,

Guy

Live the One Life You Have with Self-Awareness

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I always encourage people to live the one life they have with self-awareness because it will help them navigate all the challenges they will face. Once you understand your emotions, thoughts, and behaviors, you’ll be able to live a deeply fulfilling, meaningful existence.

Perspective frequently makes the difference in the choices you make in life. If you feel a sense of urgency, you are more likely to try to accomplish a task. People motivate themselves in different ways but a key characteristic of those who create movement is a sense that they have to get it done.

You only have one life to live so you might as well make the most of it. Why then is it that people spend incredible amounts of time and effort on everything but what is truly meaningful to them? It’s almost as if someone told them along the way that they couldn’t accomplish what they wanted in life. So they settle for what comes their way, focusing on subsistence rather than growth.

A positive way to improve self-awareness and begin redirecting your thoughts is to ask yourself, “If I only had one week to live, what would I want to do?”

Life is a precious and finite gift. Why would anyone choose to live it without doing something they really love? Think about your own situation and think about what you really want to do in life. Then put some thought into increasing self-awareness and what you can actually do to incorporate your dreams into your everyday life. As you begin working on your dreams, you will begin feeling happier and more balanced because you are connecting with who you really are. Life is just funner when you’re doing stuff you like.

Build in some urgency starting today. What will you do to improve your self-awareness and live the life you really want to?

Cheers,

Guy

Getting Rid of Destructive Pride with Self-Awareness

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A lot of people who lack self-awareness believe that pride means being as outwardly tough and invulnerable as possible. They’ll insist they’re proud of doing something or being a certain way even when they’re not. This type of thinking produces people who can never back down, admit being wrong, or change their minds. They present a strong facade but are internally shattered and don’t possess the self-awareness to change direction.

True pride is not how much bravado you project or how strong your shell is, it’s how you actually feel about yourself deep inside and how genuinely self-aware, balanced, and fulfilled you are. People who are willing to take a look at who they are and make the necessary adjustments are much more likely to live happily than those who only focus on projecting invincibility.

Being proud really means being at peace with yourself by living life as the real you, not just pretending you’re doing it. Constructive pride is the ability to feel great about who you are as a person at every level, without any rationalizations or qualifications. What will you do to develop self-awareness and move beyond destructive pride?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Awareness and Rigid Beliefs

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If you have a high level of self-awareness you will tend not to have rigid beliefs. A lot of well-meaning people try to convert others to their way of thinking or impose their ideas upon them when the true path to happiness and balance is to know themselves so well that they’re comfortable in their own shoes and don’t feel like they have to change others.

When you genuinely like yourself you will discover that you are open to other people’s ideas, even when they’re different. The trap many people fall into is thinking that their way of seeing the world or perceiving situations is the only acceptable view. They see the world through a single filter and, because they’re trying to convert everyone to their beliefs, are certain that everyone else is trying to do the same.

Genuine self-awareness allows you to let go of trying to change other people and focus instead on becoming the happiest, healthiest most balanced and genuine individual you can be. As you become more flexible, you open the door to all kinds of new and wonderful ideas and perspectives and you become a more complete person. What will you do to let go of rigid beliefs?

Cheers,

Guy

The Path to Self-Awareness

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The path to self-awareness reveals itself to you as you’re ready for it. Here are some examples of how you can tell that you’re on your way:

  • You look at yourself without criticism or judgment.
  • You realize that there are things about you that can be improved.
  • You understand that life is a journey rather than a finite goal.
  • You have the courage to examine and continue healing your hurts.
  • You keep growing and learning throughout your life.
  • You see results in your life based on your thoughtful, kind, compassionate thinking and behavior.
  • You actively work on making your dreams a reality.
  • You live life as the real you.

If you do things like these, you know how great it feels to live authentically and share your gifts with yourself and the world; if you don’t, you have a wonderful opportunity to visit many interesting places.

Cheers,

Guy

Use Self-Awareness to Attract Positive People

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Self-awareness helps you attract positive people and build fulfilling relationships because, when you know yourself well and are content with who you are, you’re able to connect with people in a genuine, healthy manner.

People often ask me why they keep dating the wrong people. I usually ask the person to do some self-reflection and the answer they most often come up with is that they are looking for people based on mistaken assumptions.

Most of us look for people that create a spark, that excite us into wanting to get to know them better. This method creates an initial euphoria that blinds us to understanding clearly what we want from relationships. We become so intoxicated with romance that we are unable to make rational decisions.

What I try to help people with is building self-awareness. When we understand who we are and what we love and need we tend to make better choices regarding relationships. If we don’t know ourselves very well or don’t like ourselves we tend to attract people that reinforce that. When we understand ourselves better and are healthier we tend to attract more positive people.

There really is no magic to this process. What’s been shown to work time after time is that people who are healthy attract other healthy people. All it takes is some work first on getting ourselves as healthy mentally and physically as possible. Then we attract people who admire us for the wonderful, healthy people we are.

What will you do to develop self-awareness and attract positive people into your life?

Cheers,

Guy

The Self-Awareness Guy