People who lack self-awareness aren’t emotionally intelligent because they’re not willing or able to look deep inside themselves and keep working on being in touch with who they are and feeling things openly and constructively.
Increasing self-awareness and developing emotional intelligence doesn’t just happen, it takes a lot of deliberate effort. If you’re like the vast majority of people, you were raised or currently function in an environment that actively distorts, discourages, ignores, fears, or mocks emotions. That leaves you with less than ideal tools to deal with your own and other people’s emotions.
There’s a lot of drama going on but nobody knows how to make things better. Luckily, there’s something you can do about it. Here are some practical ideas on how to be emotionally intelligent:
- Learn to name the four main emotions: happiness, anger, sadness, and fear.
- Learn how to accurately identify these feelings when they are going on inside you.
- Learn how to deal with or manage the emotions you’re feeling in a positive way.
- Learn how to name the emotions other people are having and deal with or manage them in a positive way.
- Learn how to use your emotions to live a happy, balanced life.
So, how do you learn these things? You practice them. For example: The next time you feel angry about something, stop and take five deep breaths, then take five minutes to simply feel what’s going on inside your body; don’t react or take action in any way, just feel what’s going on inside. Do this each time you feel the anger. Over time, you’ll become adept at feeling the emotion instead of reacting unconsciously to it. Once you’ve learned how to experience the emotion without falling apart, you can move on to taking action in a positive way.
The key to being emotionally intelligent is to be able to feel what’s going on inside you and use it positively, as well as being comfortable with other people’s emotions. When you possess emotional intelligence, you’re no longer simply reacting to what’s going on within and around you, you’re deliberately and wisely dealing with and managing the situation.
What will you do to increase your self-awareness and be emotionally intelligent?
Cheers,
Guy