The Self-Awareness Guy
101 Effective Communication Tips

101 Effective Communication Tips

Effective communication skills are vital for building a well-functioning workplace yet many of us interact with each other using a style we learned at home or through our friends or co-workers. Here are 101 effective communication tips to help you build a healthier, happier workplace:

1. Listen to your employees.
2. Don’t interrupt.
3. Don’t offer advice.
4. Refrain from trying to fix things.
5. Don’t give your opinion if not solicited.
6. Stop yourself from jumping in.
7. Don’t react or get upset.
8. Listen for key terms.
9. Set basic ground rules.
10. Repeat information back to the person.
11. Paraphrase what the person has said.
12. Ask the person open-ended questions.
13. Talk in a quiet environment.
14. Talk at a time that isn’t busy.
15. Be friendly.
16. Be courteous.
17. Don’t sit behind a desk.
18. Set up a comfortable atmosphere.
19. Let the other person lead the conversation.
20. No retribution for anything said.
21. Keep confidentiality.
22. Work with the person to find solutions.
23. Be open to more conversations.
24. Be gentle.
25. Talk at the other person’s pace.
26. Be kind.
27. Be caring.
28. Act like you’re interested.
29. Face the person.
30. Look at the person.
31. Nod and say “uh huh.”
32. Invite the person to keep talking.
33. It’s OK to have silences.
34. Try not to guide the conversation.
35. Let the other person set the agenda.
36. Meet at a time the other person determines.
37. Be open to ideas.
38. Be open to changing your mind.
39. Don’t react out of emotion, especially anger.
40. Empathize with the other person.
41. Put yourself in the other person’s shoes.
42. Be helpful.
43. Act like the other person matters.
44. Allow enough time for the conversation.
45. Leave your ego at the door.
46. Leave personal beefs behind.
47. Leave negative opinions out of the meeting.
48. Talk only when the other person asks you to do so.
49. Let the other person talk most of the time.
50. Resist the temptation to rebut.
51. This isn’t the time to be right.
52. Don’t try to prove a point.
53. No arguing allowed.
54. No convincing the other person of your point of view.
55. Don’t cross your arms.
56. Thank the person for meeting with you.
57. Don’t pull rank.
58. Don’t mention policies or procedures.
59. Don’t reference the employee manual.
60. This isn’t the time to punish.
61. Encourage the other person’s thoughts.
62. Build rapport.
63. Show an interest in the other person.
64. Learn about the other person.
65. Appreciate the information they are giving you.
66. Focus on the other person.
67. Don’t think of the next thing you want to say.
68. Smile.
69. Try not to crack jokes at the other person’s expense.
70. Don’t diminish or minimize what the person is saying.
71. Don’t negate what the other person is saying.
72. This isn’t about right and wrong, it’s about talking.
73. Don’t teach.
74. Don’t try to dominate.
75. Don’t try to control the situation.
76. Turn your phone off.
77. All ideas are welcome.
78. One person talks at a time.
79. Act like a grownup.
80. Avoid confrontation.
81. Don’t take things personally.
82. The other person’s opinion is incredibly valuable.
83. Think in terms of building a relationship.
84. Use conversation to build a stronger team.
85. Let people find their own answers.
86. Answer questions only when asked.
87. Treat the other person like a human being.
88. The other person isn’t an enemy.
89. Treat the other person like an ally.
90. This isn’t a competition, it’s a conversation.
91. Encourage different points of view.
92. Praise the other person.
93. Try not to predict what the other person will say.
94. Don’t work out your family stuff at this time.
95. Speak clearly.
96. Speak openly.
97. Speak in a calm tone.
98. Don’t raise your voice.
99. Be positive.
100. Ask for help if you need it.
101. Be courageous.

Effective communication doesn’t just happen, it takes practice over time. Many people get discouraged because it takes time and energy to become an expert communicator. The good news is that anyone can do it if they commit to practicing over time. Effective communication is about techniques but also about our mindset, you can create amazing, dynamic and caring workplaces if you decide to interact positively with others.

Cheers,
Guy



Self-Awareness Reduces Anger

Self-Awareness Reduces Anger

One of the biggest benefits of building self-awareness is that it reduces anger. If you wake up each day and don't pursue your dreams, go to a job you hate, hang out with people who don't value the real you, stuff your feelings, or pretend you're fulfilled, you're very likely to be upset. Living this way leads to anger because you're just not happy. Here are some ideas on how you can use self-awareness to improve the situation:

  • Agree with yourself to move in a new direction.
  • Get to know who you are deep inside.
  • Understand your strengths and areas for improvement.
  • Choose one thing to work on.
  • Take action each day to create movement in your life.
  • Praise yourself each time you notice a positive change.
  • Repeat the process.

People feel unsettled and upset when they're not living authentically or doing things they find meaningful. What will you do to be less angry?

Cheers,

Guy



5 Steps to Great Dating

5 Steps to Great Dating

Great dating is about knowing who you are and how to be treated well. We often go for exciting people rather than those who will treat us well and will become more exciting over time. Think about the following next time you are trying to improve your dating experiences:

1. Who am I as a person?
2. What do I want out of dating?
3. Do the people I date build me up as a person and make me feel great about myself?
4. Do I date because I’m healthy and happy or do I date to fulfill some other need?
5. Am I doing things to date people who share my interests and dreams?

Dating doesn’t have to be serious and boring, it can be very exciting when you find people who really share your interests and who treat you well. Always keep in mind that you deserve to date people who make you feel great and let you be who you are.

Cheers,

Guy



Why Are Leaders So Stubborn?

Why Are Leaders So Stubborn?

Leaders sometimes think that being stubborn is the same as being right about something. They hang on to their position no matter what happens because they just don’t see any other option. There’s nothing terribly wrong with this behavior but it does affect the leader and team involved; usually in less than positive ways. Here’s a couple of things to think about if you know someone who is amazingly stubborn.

Being Stubborn is a Defense Mechanism

People who are stubborn hang on to their beliefs at all costs because they feel they are defending something very important.  Even if the issue doesn’t seem important to others, it is to them.  People in this situation frequently believe that if they give up their position, something terrible will happen.

Being Stubborn is a Dead End Street

Once someone decides to be stubborn they have painted themselves into a corner because they severely limit any options to fix anything. They hang onto their point of view no matter what and literally can’t explore other options because they don’t allow for any.

What is Right?

Stubborn people frequently think they are right but, if you think about it, what’s right and what’s wrong? We can usually measure what’s right by whether the results of a given behavior leads to positive outcomes. Yet most stubborn behavior just leads to entrenchment. I’m not certain most people would say that being stuck is the same as being right or happy.

So What Can We Do?

Stubbornness can be a daunting challenge. Some people are so stubborn that they will live a miserable life just to prove their point. The only real way to alleviate stubbornness is for someone to get help to interrupt the behavior patterns and beliefs that lead to the current situation. There’s not much other people can do except make themselves available to talk with the person and set limits and boundaries.

Being stubborn rarely leads to positive results and it isn’t very effective at creating inspiring workplaces. The good news is that the cycle can be interrupted by taking a good look at oneself and slightly shifting the behaviors that lead to being stubborn. The result?  Greater happiness and more successful leaders.

Cheers,
Guy

Leadership that Limits Success

Leadership that Limits Success

There are countless smart, well-intentioned people in leadership positions who limit their organization's success without even knowing it because they behave in ways that hinder growth and progress. What they may not yet realize is that leaders can consciously choose to behave in ways that increase success rather than impede it, let's look at some examples of both approaches:

Behaviors that Limit Success

Need to control everything and project authority.
Inflexibility.
Only one vision.
Resistance to change.
Inability to listen.
Personal insecurity.

Behaviors that Increase Success

Let go of the need for power and control.
Entertain new ideas.
See things from more than one perspective.
Be willing to change.
Listen to people actively and often.
Work on being a secure, balanced individual.

A big part of self-awareness is understanding how your behaviors impact how you and your employees function. Even if your organization is already highly successful, you can practice positive behaviors to make things run even more smoothly. It all starts with being willing to evaluate your own leadership behaviors. What will you do to lead in a way that encourages success?

Cheers,

Guy