Dating Tips and Self-Awareness - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Dating Tips and Self-Awareness

I’ve noticed that when people ask me for relationship advice a recurring questions is, “Why can’t I find anyone.” There are many ways people arrive at this conclusion. I’ll list them and put a self-awareness twist on each. In this way you can move in a different direction and find out how much power you really have to affect your dating life.

1. I keep going out with bad boys/girls. Different direction: I get myself healthy enough to recognize that it’s OK to treat myself well and go out with positive people.

2. I feel lonely. Different direction: I actively work on things that resolve why I am lonely and emphasize learning about myself before dating.

3. Where can I meet people? Different direction: When you get yourself healthy and do the things you love you move in circles where you attract people who are like you.

4. All men/women are terrible. Different direction: There are a lot of great people out there we just need to learn to accept them into our lives and be healthy enough to encourage good people to go out with us.

Hope these ideas help navigate the dating waters. Dating is ultimately what you make it; you have a lot of control over where it goes.

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Awareness and Being Kind to Yourself - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Awareness and Being Kind to Yourself

People are frequently quite hard on themselves and are constantly concerned about how well they are doing things. The key in life is to develop your self-awareness so you can truly understand your strengths and areas for improvement instead of just berating yourself over everything. Try this three-step process every day to start being kind with yourself.

1. Praise yourself for something you did today.
2. Do something positive that you enjoy.
3. Repeat every day.

Getting in the habit of doing these simple things can feel different at first but, over time, it leads to us doing things that make us feel good. It’s great when we can rely on ourselves rather than others to make us feel good. As you build your self-awareness you will begin to understand how to channel your emotions, thoughts, and behavior in a positive direction.

Next time you feel completely stressed out and about to explode, take a moment and try these steps instead of being hard on yourself. You are an amazing human being who deserves caring and affection. What will you do to be more self-aware and kind to yourself?

Cheers,

Guy

6 Steps to Be a Self-Aware Leader and Resolve Workplace Conflict - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

6 Steps to Be a Self-Aware Leader and Resolve Workplace Conflict

The two most common approaches to workplace conflict resolution are: making it worse and avoiding it. Leaders who possess self-awareness understand that conflict is a signal that something important is happening and that they need to pay attention to it. They are self-aware enough to realize that conflict is a great opportunity to bring co-workers together and improve how their workplaces function. Try these six steps the next time conflict erupts in your workplace:

1.  Name the conflict (keep it simple, one sentence or less). Don’t worry about giving it the perfect name, what matters is just making sure everyone is on the same page.

2.  Each of you describe how you see the conflict. All views are valid. Let people share their stories without judgments, rebuttals, or comments.

3.  Brainstorm a few ideas to fix the conflict. All ideas are valid and welcome.

4.  Agree and choose one of the ideas from the brainstorm to work on. Don’t worry about which one you pick, the important thing is for the people involved to work together.

5.  Each of you decides what you will work on and by when. Let each person chose what he or she wants to do.

6.  Get an outside person involved if you are still having difficulty working together.

I’ve found that, if two people just sit down and agree to talk (respectfully, without shouting, and in a quiet setting), they can resolve even the most complex situations. It’s wonderful when two people have the self-awareness necessary to work together, come to an agreement, and figure out a mutually beneficial way to resolve the issue at hand.

Remember that dealing with workplace conflict isn’t a quick fix that happens immediately, it takes people agreeing to sit down with each other and working together to develop new solutions over time. What will you do to develop your self-awareness and resolve conflict in your workplace?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Awareness Means Looking at the Difficult Things in Life - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Awareness Means Looking at the Difficult Things in Life

A lot of times self-awareness is about looking at the difficult things in your life. These are the areas that perhaps you don’t want to bring up or examine. The challenge is to find a way to deal with the difficult issues in your life so you can move past them and live without their influence. It’s like finally healing a wound that’s been hurting for a long time.

The vast majority of people live their entire lives without resolving the pain from their past. This limits their ability to grow and succeed. Think of how amazing your life would be if you became self-aware to the point that you genuinely loved yourself and were able to live as the real you. Too many people get stuck living a life that they settle for instead of doing the hard work necessary to live a conscious, fulfilling life. Self-awareness requires effort but it allows you to let go of all the junk that holds you back.

If you’re afraid of looking at the difficult things in life, that’s normal. The choice you have is whether you decide to move past those things or you let them dictate what you should do. Self-aware people choose to deal with the challenges so they can live wonderfully healthy and expansive lives.

Cheers,

Guy

Characteristics of Someone with Self-Awareness - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Characteristics of Someone with Self-Awareness

People frequently ask me to describe the characteristics of someone with self-awareness, here are some examples:

  • They’re in touch with their emotions and are comfortable with them, even when they’re unpleasant or difficult.
  • They’re comfortable with other people’s emotions.
  • Their thinking matches objective reality; they don’t make up scenarios that aren’t based on demonstrable fact.
  • They’re able to manage their thinking patterns and move even their most difficult thoughts in a positive direction.
  • Their actions lead in a positive direction for them and for others.
  • They deeply understand their strengths as well as their areas for improvement.
  • They’re always working on becoming the best version of themselves possible.
  • They work hard to heal their inner hurts, preferably by going to a professional therapist.
  • They’re genuinely happy with who they are deep inside.
  • They follow their dreams.
  • They live as themselves.
  • They’re open to new people, ideas, challenges and changes.
  • They relate well to others and build positive relationships.
  • They treat themselves and others with kindness and compassion.
  • They make the world a better place because they’re so comfortable with themselves that they’re able to freely help others.

Imagine your life if you possessed any number of these qualities. The wonderful thing is you can achieve them all if you choose to actively develop your self-awareness.

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Awareness, Team Building, and Autocratic Leadership - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Awareness, Team Building, and Autocratic Leadership

I was reading a discussion on a business site about team building recently. Two vocal contributors talked about how team building was only a fluffy, superfluous activity that could only lead to coddled, lazy employees. What was needed, they contended, was discipline and a strict adherence to rules and directives. They added that employees were there only to carry out the leader’s vision and not to have a good time.

I said to myself, “Where do I sign up?  Sounds like a great place to work.”

Many leaders lack self-awareness and still function under the paradigm that the only thing that matters in business is to drive people until they break. They genuinely believe that organizations are solely about their leaders and the rest of the employees are just there to carry out their vision. Everything is wrapped around one charismatic disciplinarian who leads his flock bravely off the cliff into glory.

This style would be much more effective if people had no minds, no dreams, no independence, no skills and no need to grow or be fulfilled in any way in the workplace. In the real world, there are very few people willing to have someone boss them around mercilessly all day. So what’s a budding autocrat to do? I might look at developing my self-awareness, relaxing a bit, and letting people be who they are. I don’t say this to make leadership more difficult, I offer it as a way to create workplaces that run better because people feel better about themselves and the organization.

Feeling good is a difficult concept for leaders bred on discipline and order. Many equate feeling good with being weak but I tend to think that it’s about people performing well while feeling like they’re important individually and collectively. There’s a big difference between doing work because you have no other choice or because you want to intrinsically. When leaders are self-aware and motivate their employees from within, they can count on them using their natural talents and abilities to greater advantage. The trick is finding a way to encourage people to succeed based on their own inner motivators rather than those imposed from someone on the outside.

Team building requires the ability not only to have people produce but also to move beyond simply requiring people to perform tasks in some predetermined way toward a single goal. It’s about providing choices and opportunities and recognizing that people are able to think for themselves when given the chance. It’s easy to boss people around but much harder to have them direct themselves. How will you develop your self-awareness and practice excellent team building?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Aware Leadership and Developing a Clear Vision for Your Organization - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Aware Leadership and Developing a Clear Vision for Your Organization

There are countless leaders who let their organizations drag them along as they hold on for dear life. For them, every workday is another exercise in reacting and trying to manage chaos. There’s a significant difference between letting your organization happen to you and having the self-awareness to make things happen proactively.

Do you have a clear vision at this moment of where you want to take your organization? If the answer is no, then ask yourself these questions:

1. Am I doing what I really want to do in my organization?

2. Do I feel successful and fulfilled when I leave work?

3. Does my organization build me up as a professional?

4. Do I have clear goals for the future of my organization?

5. Do I have a strategy or plan for how I will lead?

The answers to these questions will give you an idea of where your leadership could take your organization. Sometimes the only difference between leaders who succeed and those who don’t is their ability to plan proactively.

When you are actively working on developing your self-awareness, you’ll be able to asses your strengths and areas for improvement, thus making it easier to come up with a plan that moves your organization in a positive direction.

Take a moment this week to ask yourself these questions and to start planning your future success rather than reacting to whatever comes your way.  You’ll enjoy having a clearer vision of your organization’s progress. What will you do to practice self-aware leadership and develop a clear vision for your company?

Cheers,

Guy

The Self-Awareness Guy