Awareness of Emotions

Self-Awareness and Being Whole

One of the major benefits of increasing your self-awareness is that you get to live life whole, as in:

  • You know who you really are deep inside.
  • You honor your inner voice.
  • You follow your dreams.
  • The various parts of your personality are in harmony with each other.
  • Your actions are consistent with your thoughts.
  • You are actually happy and healthy inside, not just pretending in order to not show weakness or conform to what someone else is expecting.
  • You look inside for answers.
  • You trust that you’re the best guide for your life.
  • You deal well with your entire range of emotions.
  • No one part of your personality, thoughts, or actions dominates your life.
  • You believe there is such a thing as happiness.
  • You’re following your dreams, the real ones, not the ones you pretend are your dreams.
  • You surround yourself with interesting, healthy people.

Being whole means living a completely authentic life. It doesn’t require being perfect, just that you be yourself. What will you do to work on being whole?

Cheers,

Guy

Lack of Self-Awareness Is the Root of All Problems in the World

The root of all the problems in the world is people’s inability to deal with emotions. Individuals who have self-awareness are able to identify what they’re feeling, the emotion that drives it, and channel their actions in a positive direction, people who aren’t comfortable dealing with emotions often do things like:

  • Hurt themselves or others.
  • Lash out in anger.
  • Go numb because they don’t want to feel anything.
  • Watch as horrible things happen to others.
  • Seek revenge or retribution.
  • Wish awful things to happen to others.
  • Create roadblocks and make life difficult for others.
  • Become withdrawn or depressed.
  • Sabotage themselves or others.
  • Turn to drugs and alcohol to escape what they’re feeling.
  • Be aggressive toward others to protect their soft insides.
  • Refuse to connect meaningfully with others because it might expose them to feeling something.
  • Accept negative relationships as normal.
  • Accept violence and chaos as normal.
  • Live in fear.

It’s not that people want to do these things, it’s just that their families, friends, societies, and they themselves have grown to believe that this is the only available option. What they may not realize is that they don’t have to live this way, they can actually build self-awareness, get in touch with their emotions, and do things like:

  • Treat themselves and others well.
  • Focus on being joyful.
  • Actively work on experiencing what’s going on inside them.
  • Help other people.
  • Forgive.
  • Wish for good things to happen to others.
  • Make life easier for others.
  • Step out of their shell.
  • Do things to help themselves and others succeed.
  • Experience what’s inside themselves and seek counseling for anything that’s leading them in a negative direction.
  • Be caring toward others.
  • Let people into their lives and show their real selves.
  • Strive to build positive relationships.
  • See kindness and peace as normal.
  • Live with courage.

For every negative approach to dealing with emotions there is a positive counterpart. The key to creating a better world is for people to have the self-awareness to realize when they’re feeling something, identify the emotion beneath it, and deal with it in a positive way. As human beings, we’ve become very skilled at coping with emotions (and the way they make us feel) in profoundly negative ways. The irony is that we can move in a positive direction any time we choose and build a world that benefits everyone.

By the way, if you’re thinking that this type of approach is unrealistic or impossible, you’re behaving like the people in the first list. In order to create a more emotionally healthy world, it’s important to first acknowledge that something is askew and then take conscious steps to move down a different path.

What will you do to develop self-awareness and deal positively with your emotions?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Aware People Realize Things Can’t Make Them Happy

I frequently consult with people who lack self-awareness and genuinely believe that buying things will make them happy. Time after time they realize that buying stuff really doesn’t affect their long term happiness. Sure, there is a buzz that comes from buying something you like but it doesn’t resolve the underlying things that are vital to fulfillment. This doesn’t mean that you can’t be happy buying things, it just requires that you put some thought into why you buy stuff. If you buy objects with the hopes of feeling better about yourself, I have some basic questions you can ask yourself to build self-awareness and help you focus on what’s really going on.

1. Do I really need this object?
2. How am I focusing on fixing the deeper issues in my life?
3. Do I feel less whole when I can’t shop?
4. In what ways does buying things affect my emotions?
5. Does shopping help me postpone feeling emotions?
6. Do I hide the fact that I buy stuff from others?
7. Do I have to buy other stuff to keep the buzz going?
8. In what other areas of my life could I devote more energy and thought?
9. Could my money be used for long-term success?
10. How am I defined by my things?

The answers to these questions will help you get some perspective on how your buying habits affect your life. There’s nothing wrong or horrible with buying nice things unless it prevents you from looking at the deeper stuff in life.

What will you do to develop self-awareness and be happy from sources other than buying things?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Awareness and Being Unhelpful

The more self-awareness you have, the happier you are and the more you move away from being unhelpful when others need assistance. There are many instances where people don’t help each other very much or choose to interact negatively, for example:

  • Pointing out what’s going wrong instead of what is going well.
  • Criticizing instead of offering solutions.
  • Talking over people.
  • Making sarcastic or sardonic remarks.
  • Taking a lot of time to explain why they can’t do something rather than doing it.
  • Finding ways to not help.
  • Acting like a know-it-all and making people feel inadequate.

As you gain more self-awareness you move away from these types of behaviors because you realize that other people are valuable, and you do things like:

  • Highlight what is going well.
  • Offer solutions.
  • Listen.
  • Make positive remarks.
  • Do something helpful instead of talking about what you can’t do.
  • Find ways to help.
  • Behave in ways that are kind and helpful.

There is a vast difference between the first list and the second list; one hurts people and creates conflict and the other encourages relationship building. You get to choose which path you take. Self-awareness means you understand how important it is to treat everyone with respect and care. What will you do to be more helpful?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Awareness Begins with Self-Reflection

True self-awareness begins with self-reflection, the process of examining and understanding what you think, feel and do. A lot of people are able to recognize that they think or do something but are unable to consciously change or modify it. Self-reflection means that you do the following:

  • Be willing to take a candid look at yourself.
  • Recognize your strengths.
  • Identify your areas for improvement.
  • Learn how to experience your full range of emotions.
  • Find ways to identify and heal your deepest hurts.
  • Stop doing things that don’t work.
  • Think, feel and behave consciously and positively.
  • Move from being reactive to proactive.
  • Be willing to learn, grow and change.
  • Be open to new experiences.

There’s a big difference between saying you’re self-aware and actually knowing who you really are. Genuine self-awareness requires constant, ongoing reflection, exploration, and an openness to new perspectives and ideas. What will you do to start your journey of self-reflection?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Awareness Helps You Avoid Regret

A lot of people who lack self-awareness talk about living with no regrets and then go out and do stuff that is purely physical or superficial and doesn’t really help them grow as human beings. As you build your self-awareness, you’ll realize that physical or superficial pursuits are not the things that really matter in life, what people actually regret are things like:

  • Not having deep relationships with others.
  • Not saying, “I Love You,” more often to their loved ones.
  • Not pursuing their dreams.
  • Not having the courage to live life as themselves.
  • Not taking the time to work on the issues that held them back in life.
  • Not admitting mistakes.
  • Not being in touch with their emotions.
  • Not treating themselves and others well.
  • Not making the world a better place.
  • Not making life easier for others.
  • Not behaving with kindness and empathy toward all people.
  • Not letting go of fear.

You’ll notice that these types of regrets don’t have anything to do with superficial gratification, living recklessly, or being hooked on adrenaline, they refer to the quiet moments when we have to face who we are as people and decide whether we did everything in our power to live meaningfully.

Self-awareness allows you to live on a deeper level, where you understand what really matters in life rather than trying to fill yourself up with temporary placebos. It’s a way of living that goes below the surface and brings you greater satisfaction.

What will you do to develop self-awareness and avoid regrets in your life?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Awareness Means Working through Your Stuff

It’s important to work through your stuff even if you don’t really want to, otherwise you’ll live a reactive, unconscious life rather than building your self-awareness and enjoying being the real you.

A lot of people spend an inordinate amount of time and energy trying to avoid difficult issues instead of dealing with them openly and directly. It’s painful to look at your inner bruises but it’s the only way to heal yourself deep inside and move forward in life. When you deal with the challenges that hold you back, you open up doors of opportunity that would have been closed otherwise.

It may not be easy, but the process of increasing self-awareness and healing your hurts is the only true path to happiness. It’s like having a toothache, it will never go away until you treat it. One of the reasons I enjoy connecting with people who value self-awareness is that they often are in a place where they’re already comfortable looking deep inside, and that’s where all change begins.

What will you do to develop self-awareness and work through your stuff?

Cheers,

Guy

The Self-Awareness Guy