Self-Aware

Self-Awareness Helps Interrupt Negative Relationship Patterns

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Self-awareness helps interrupt negative relationship patterns because, when you understand your own and others’ emotions, thoughts, and behaviors, you’re better able to deal with any issue that comes up in a relationship.

Many of us learn how to function in relationships from what we saw our parents do or learned from our friends. The patterns we learn are often hard to move away from even when they are consistently negative or don’t make us feel better as people.

Why is it then that people seem to stay stuck in non-productive relationships rather than working on finding new and more rewarding ways of doing things? In my experience it is due to a lack of self-awareness, comfort with the familiar, and fear of the unknown. As strange as it sounds when viewed objectively, we often stay with what we know because we think it is more comfortable.

The great thing is that we can often experience far greater joy and reward by increasing self-awareness and doing something new. Learning new behaviors that lead us in positive directions can result in resolving chronic relationship problems, finding new and positive relationships and treating ourselves better.

Try this sometime: Examine your existing relationship and decide on one thing that could change to improve the relationship. Work on that one thing consistently over time. Seek outside help if you need an objective point of view. Once you start establishing a new pattern things will begin moving in a different direction.

People often tell me they never knew their relationships were so stuck until they introduced new behaviors. They are often surprised at how good things can get and frequently tell me that they are glad they consciously worked on breaking the patterns they had established in their relationships and trying new ones.

What will you do to develop self-awareness and interrupt negative relationship patterns?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Aware People Are the True Optimists

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A lot of people who lack self-awareness say they’re optimists but feel, think, and behave in profoundly pessimistic or negative ways, to the point of hurting themselves or others.

Being a true optimist means you’re consistently open to increasing your self-awareness, following an authentic path in life, and behaving hopefully and positively. You can’t claim to look on the bright side if you spread negative vibes in some other part of your life.

Real optimists make life better not only for themselves but for everyone else. They believe that the world can be a kind, peaceful place where people treat each other with empathy and care.

I love consulting for self-aware people because they aren’t afraid to examine who they are, warts and all, and keep moving forward fearlessly. It takes courage to look at the difficult things in life and keep learning and growing rather than pretending you’re doing OK while you’re really hurting inside.

What will you do to develop self-awareness and be a true optimist?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Awareness Helps You Say What You Want to Say

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A big part of self-awareness is identifying who you are and what you really want to do in life. It’s being able to answer the question: “What do you have to say?” There is a simple beauty to sharing whatever is going on inside you. You don’t have to create some sweeping epic, just do things based on what you’re thinking and feeling inside. Forget about judging what you’re doing or comparing it to other people’s work, just use your own amazing voice.

When I write about self-awareness, I begin with no preconceptions. I let whatever thought is percolating in my mind guide my words. It doesn’t matter what the topic is, the only important thing is to listen to what my heart and mind say and be open to following my true instincts, which is what I encourage people to do in their own lives.

As you build your self-awareness, you’ll find it gets easier to just be yourself and let your true voice emanate from within you. You get to decide what floats your boat and is meaningful to you. Don’t miss the opportunity to share your amazing self with the world.

Each of us has valuable insights and perspectives to share with the world. What will you do to develop self-awareness and live the life you want to?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Awareness and Your Worldview

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Your level of self-awareness deeply affects your worldview. If you believe that the world is an unforgiving place where people can’t be trusted or want to harm you then you’ll live your life in a particular way. If, on the other hand, you see the world as a place where people can be trusted and are generally well-meaning you’ll behave in other ways. Your worldview colors everything you do in life and will lead you down a certain path which can be beneficial or full of hindrances.

In order to increase your self-awareness and enjoy life, take some time to ask yourself where your assumptions about the world come from. Identify the beliefs you hold that keep you from living happily and take action to shift them in a more positive direction. For example: If you believe that you can’t talk with someone, consciously decide that you’ll give them the benefit of the doubt and communicate with them in a way that invites them to connect with you. It takes deliberate effort and courage to shift your worldview but it can help you live much more meaningfully. What will you do to create a positive worldview?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Aware People Are Compassionate

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When you practice compassion as part of your  self-awareness journey you’ll find that you’re able to care for yourself and others. Compassion is the ability to put yourself in someone else’s shoes and treat them with care and kindness. In doing so you create positive energy in your life and in the world as well.

Compassionate human beings understand that they are not the only people in the world, that other individuals and groups have a different and valid experience. When you practice compassion, you are able to put your own experience and needs aside, really empathize with someone else, and recognize when they need help.

As you build your self-awareness, you will find that you become more comfortable and better able to manage your own emotions, thoughts, and behaviors, which will enable you to connect with others on a more meaningful level. The healthier you are, the more you are in a position to help others.

What will you do to develop self-awareness and practice compassion?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Aware People Do More Than Fixing Problems

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I have facilitated numerous workshops and consulted with myriad people who lack self-awareness and a common theme that comes up is the idea of fixing things. From an early age, we are taught to confront any problem with a fix. If someone says something to us in our personal or professional life we immediately jump and look for ways to fix it. While I like resolving issues, it’s also important to give some importance to just building self-awareness and working on things without fixing them. Next time someone comes to you with a problem, consider the following possibilities:

1. Listen without interrupting or offering advice.
2. Give yourself permission not to fix anything.
3. Let the person talk to you freely and give them the time to do so.
4. Even if you disagree, don’t rebut or become defensive.
5. Learn to recognize the things that trigger your defensiveness or anger.
6. Offer to listen to the person again.
7. Always remain calm and caring.

The act of listening changes the whole dynamic in relationships. Suddenly we can learn what other people really think and simply bond with them. This approach is different because it requires that, instead of talking or jumping in, we just let someone else tell us about the things they find meaningful. This approach greatly reduces hurt feelings and anger because it requires us to react calmly to anything another person says.

What will you do to develop self-awareness and stop fixing things?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Awareness Improves Your Dating Life

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People who lack self-awareness tend to have a lot of dating problems because they don’t know who they are or what they really want. My lovely clients tell me all kinds of stories about the bad boys and girls they date or the fact that they can’t find Mr. or Ms. Right. What I’ve found out over the years is that people date haphazardly. They have some vague notion of what they want but they are missing a few key elements that will help them date at a deeper, more rewarding level. Next time you are feeling troubled by your dating life think of the following ideas.

1. Am I happy with myself or am I looking for someone to fill that void?
2. Am I doing what I want with my life?
3. Do I date negative people because, deep down, I don’t like myself?
4. Do I know how to meet positive, supportive people to date?
5. Am I meeting people that make me feel good about myself?
6. Do I have the communication and interpersonal skills to date well?
7. Why do I date?

As you think of answers to these questions you will begin to understand yourself more and identify the patterns that have led you to relationship problems. If you keep repeating the same behaviors you will likely get the same results. It’s only when we begin to understand ourselves and treat ourselves well that we can begin letting great people into our lives.

Cheers,

Guy

The Self-Awareness Guy