Self-Knowledge

Self-Awareness and How to Fix Workplace Problems

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Self-awareness helps you fix workplace problems because, when people understand how their emotions, thoughts, and actions affect the workplace, they are able to work on actually resolving the issues at hand instead of perpetuating or making them worse.

During my consulting sessions the theme of how to fix workplace problems arises frequently. We tend to be fixers in our culture and, from an early age, we are taught to confront any problem with an immediate fix. This greatly affects how we deal with challenges in our workplaces. If a colleague asks us for help or just wants us to listen to him or her we often jump to an unsolicited fix. When employees talk with us about our behavior we frequently react by looking for a fix rather than learning more about ourselves.

We do a whole lot of fixing and not as much self-aware thinking and reflecting. This leads to an approach to workplace interactions where everyone reacts to everything rather than pausing a bit and doing some thoughtful planning beforehand.

While I like resolving issues as much as the next person, it’s also important to devote some attention and importance to just working on things without fixing them immediately. The next time someone comes to you with a problem in your workplace, use your self-awareness to do the following:

1.  Listen without interrupting or offering advice.

2.  Give yourself permission not to fix anything.

3.  Let the person talk to you freely and give them the time to do so.

4.  Even if you disagree, don’t rebut or become defensive.

5.  Learn to recognize the things that trigger your defensiveness or anger.

6.  Offer to listen to the person again in the future.

7. Always remain calm and kind.

The act of listening changes the whole dynamic in workplace interactions.  Suddenly you can learn what other people really think and simply bond with them. This strategy is different because it requires that, instead of talking or jumping in, you just let someone else tell you about the things they find meaningful. This approach greatly reduces hurt feelings and anger because it encourages you to react calmly to anything another person says and helps the other person feel important.

What will you do to develop self-awareness and fix problems in the workplace more effectively?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Awareness and Increasing Your Leadership Success

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Self-awareness helps you increase your leadership success because, when you understand your own and others’ emotions, thoughts, and actions, you’re able to create a dynamic workplace where you and other people consciously do things that lead in a positive direction.

There are a lot of leadership consulting programs out there that promise us that we can change our workplaces, lead better or be more successful if we just think about it hard enough. While I’m a big believer in the power of positive thinking, I like to add an extra dimension called taking real action.

When you decide to move from an idea that’s in your head to actually doing something you open a door to being more successful because you increase your commitment to changing something in your life. Try the following practical steps to increase your success.

  1. Think of something you want to achieve.
  2. Think of various actions you can take to achieve it.
  3. Pick one action to do today and decide by when you’ll complete it.
  4. Move to the next action.

If you practice these four steps over time you’ll find that you get much better at focusing on something and actually doing it. As you improve your ability to take action you will increase your leadership success.

Leadership success is about actually doing things that help you build a healthier and more productive workplace. All you have to do is commit to changing the patterns you’ve established up to now by replacing them with actions that will get you where you want to be.

What will you do to develop self-awareness and increase your leadership success?

Cheers,

Guy

How Self-Aware Leaders Communicate Effectively

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Leaders who lack self-awareness often think that effective communication is about showing how powerful or in control they are and talking on top of their employees or clients. This approach overlooks the reality that there is more than one person involved in a conversation. Self-aware leaders realize that communicating effectively is about making sure everyone feels important and valued. Here are some practical tips to help you practice effective communication in your workplace.

Talk Much Less

It’s much easier to understand what other people are saying when you’re not talking, thinking of the next thing you’re going to say or how you’re going to defend yourself. It’s very difficult to accurately grasp what other people are saying if you’re talking at the same time they are.

Listen Much More

A frequently overlooked skill, active listening helps you get more information from the other person so you can then make better decisions. Listening actively means that you are intensely focused on understanding what the other person is saying and you’re there with them the whole time they’re talking.

Keep an Open Mind

Effective communication isn’t just about forcing one point of view on others, it’s about understanding that other people have ideas that may be greatly beneficial to the organization. Try not to go into conversations with an agenda or strategy for victory. Be willing to consider ideas that don’t agree with yours.

Value the Input of Your Employees

Show your employees that you value what they have to say by letting them say it. Give your employees the opportunity to share their ideas and perspectives. Create a workplace where people are free to use their knowledge to make their jobs more satisfying and improve how the company functions.

Lose the Ego

Conversations aren’t exclusively about you. Let go of the need to control communication and you will have more opportunities to learn about your employees and what’s actually going on in your workplace. Let go of having to defend or rebut and you will have smoother, more easy-going interactions and get more done.

What will you do to develop self-awareness and communicate effectively?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Awareness and Deciding What You Want to Do in Life

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Self-awareness is a vital element of deciding what you want to do in life because, when you know yourself well deep inside, you’re able to use your emotions, thoughts, and actions to move in the direction of your dreams.

Many of us are searching for what we want to do with our lives. I frequently recommend to my clients that they do things that bring them joy and that really speak to who they are as a person. A quick checklist you can use to figure out if you are doing what you love could include:

  • What do I love doing more than anything? Am I doing it?
  • What am I doing to pursue my dreams?
  • Am I settling for a life that does not include my dreams?
  • What am I afraid of?
  • What can I do today to move toward my dreams?

Moving one’s life in the direction we want it to go in requires conscious thought. The good news is that anyone can do concrete things to move in any direction they want. Start today and you could be on your way to doing the things you’ve dreamed of.

What will you do to develop self-awareness and follow the path you want to in life?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Awareness and Getting Help to Fix Your Relationship Problems

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Self-awareness helps you resolve your relationship problems because, when you understand how you and other people’s emotions, thoughts, and actions affect the situation at hand, you’re actually able to do something about it.

Many people who have relationship problems think that they can fix them themselves or get help from friends and family. The difficulty with this approach is that not everyone is qualified to help us find the answers we want. They may mean well and love us very much but they may not have a clue on how to actually fix a problem. Ask yourself the following questions next time you are looking for someone to help you with your relationship problems:

  • Does this person have a track record of expert relationship problem solving?
  • Does this person listen unconditionally without giving advice?
  • Does this person help you come up with your own answers?
  • Is this person too close to the situation or not objective enough?
  • Does the person have anything to gain from a specific outcome?
  • Has this person had any training in fixing relationships?
  • Does this person use self-awareness as a tool to improve relationships?

These basic questions highlight the importance of getting help that will not only make you feel better or supported but, additionally, to find help that helps you create the results you want. The advice you get from others may be kind and supportive but does the problem go away?

Clients often tell me that it is difficult to seek outside help. We are often taught that we need to fix things ourselves or should not trust anyone outside of friends and family. The good news is that a supportive consultant has the skills and experience to help you move in any direction you choose.

What will you do to develop self-awareness and fix your relationship problems?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Awareness and Being Insecure

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When you enjoy a high level of self-awareness you tend to be less insecure because you understand who you really are and you don’t compare yourself to others. Countless people wander through life measuring themselves against some arbitrary standard set by someone else rather than becoming healthy and happy on their own. The first step in moving past insecurity is to acknowledge it. Here are some signs to look for:

  • You compare yourself to others.
  • You try to be perfect.
  • Deep down inside, you don’t like yourself.
  • You’re not living your own life.
  • You don’t treat yourself or others well.
  • You seldom practice compassion.
  • You’re always trying to beat someone else.
  • You revel in power and control.

When you do these types of things, it doesn’t mean you’re a terrible person but, rather, that you may not have yet really gotten in touch with the person you really are deep inside. Take the time to get to know who you really are and live your life based on your true joys and passions and you won’t have to worry about what others think or compare yourself to anyone but yourself. What will you do to reduce your insecurity?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Awareness and Family Functioning

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Self-awareness is a major component of healthy family functioning because, the more people understand themselves, the easier it will be for them to get along with each other and interact positively. We’ve been led to believe that families are about order, control, hierarchy, respect, tradition and other words that put people in boxes rather than encourage them to be themselves and live joyfully. People in restrictive families are often asked to do things like:

  • Keep secrets.
  • Sublimate their own identity to fit the group.
  • Follow rules, no matter how unreasonable or arbitrary.
  • Be in constant conflict and call it love.
  • Occasionally do nice things for each other.
  • Have no effective problem-solving or conflict resolution mechanisms.
  • Talk only about approved subjects.
  • Blindly defer to people who may not know what they’re doing.
  • Only express approved emotions.
  • Negative behaviors are tolerated.

These types of actions are common in many families but don’t lead to celebrating individuals and helping them discover who they really are deep inside. When family members possess a high level of self-awareness they likely promote behaviors such as:

  • Talking openly about difficult subjects.
  • Building one’s own identify and being accepted.
  • Worrying less about rules and more about critical thinking.
  • Treating each other with kindness and empathy.
  • Consistently doing nice things for each other.
  • Understanding how to fix problems and resolve conflicts.
  • All conversation topics are valid and important.
  • Everyone is equal.
  • All emotions are welcome.
  • Positive behaviors are the norm.

There is a vast difference between the type of interactions that result from the first list and the second. The higher your level of self-awareness is, the more likely you are to move away from power and control to encouraging everyone to be his or her amazing self without restrictions or conditions. What will you do to improve your family functioning?

Cheers,
Guy

The Self-Awareness Guy