self-knowledge

How to Use Self-Awareness to Fix a Relationship Problem - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

How to Use Self-Awareness to Fix a Relationship Problem

Self-awareness can help you fix your relationship problems because, when the people involved understand and can manage their emotions, thoughts, and actions, they are in a good position to resolve the situation.

Many people experience difficulties in their relationships and don’t know what to do about them. They repeat an endless cycle of getting hurt, hurting back and perpetuating the hurt through their actions. It even happens in dating situations and marriages where both people are kind, intelligent and caring. So what is it that causes this conflict and what can we do to increase our self-awareness and do something about the issue? It helps to first examine why conflict occurs. Here are some of the causes:

  • Neither person understands the other person’s point of view.
  • There is not a meeting of the minds on issues.
  • Neither side backs down.
  • Each side tries to win.
  • Neither side has the skills or knowledge to fix the problem.
  • The people involved are hurt, angry, frustrated or sad.

The good news is that you can help your situation by being self-aware and thinking about new ways of doing things. The key point is to start a process where nobody wins and both of you collaborate to find a solution that works for everyone involved. Consider using the following ideas to begin increasing your self-awareness and connecting with your significant other in ways that will benefit both of you.

  • You both agree to talk.
  • Set up an interruption-free time to talk.
  • Agree on one thing to talk about.
  • Brainstorm possible ideas to fix the problem.
  • Evaluate each option.
  • Agree together on the resolution that works best for both of you.
  • Work together to take action on the resolution.
  • Move to the next problem.
  • Think about getting a neutral person involved to mediate.

I also encourage my clients to do away with the word “problem” and look at the challenges in life as opportunities for personal growth and movement in a more positive direction. Looking at challenging situations in a positive light gives you the opportunity to actually fix things rather than repeating the same patterns.

So the next time you are in the middle of a fight, redirect your thoughts to the possibility that both of you can work together and purposefully resolve the matter. What will you do to increase your self-awareness and fix your relationship problems?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Awareness and the Power of Positive Thinking - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Awareness and the Power of Positive Thinking

Self-awareness is connected to positive thinking because, when you understand yourself deep inside, you’re able to focus your emotions, thoughts, and behaviors in a favorable direction.

I was recently facilitating a workshop with a group of people who had been through significant trauma in their lives and I posed the question, “Why is it that some people are able to move forward and others can’t?” Their responses included determination, resilience, and courage.

An answer I’ve found helpful is: People who overcome obstacles are those who develop their self-awareness so they are able to focus on the positive. This doesn’t mean that they minimize trauma or don’t acknowledge difficulties, it’s simply that they are able to understand themselves well enough to bypass the negative and concentrate on doing positive things.

Human beings have an amazing ability to move in any direction they want to. Right this moment you could take some small action to increase your self-awareness and change your life. All it takes is making a conscious decision to do something, anything. Being positive is about focusing on the things you can change and that you have control over.

We are able to change ourselves because we have control over what we do. Next time you feel like there is no hope, try doing one thing to interrupt those thoughts and that will move you in a positive direction. Time after time I’ve had clients tell me that all it took to change their lives was thinking positively about something they used to think of as negative.

What will you do to increase your self-awareness and think positively?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Awareness and Doing Things Now - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Awareness and Doing Things Now

Did you know that you can use self-awareness to start doing things right now to improve your life. When you understand yourself deep inside, you’re better able to take action to transform your situation.

We spend so much time thinking about the things we could have done that we forget the power we have to change things in the present. It’s easy to get stuck in a mode where we replay past events or make up future possibilities but that never seems to affect the present.

Spending more time consciously working on the present is the only way to change your destiny. If you start today by telling yourself that you will work on something occurring in the present you will suddenly have command of your destiny and power to change whatever you want.

Try doing that today; find something that you keep hoping would happen in the past or future and re-focus it in the present. Ask yourself what you can do right now to affect something in your life right now. Doing stuff in the present helps us take our minds off all the things we have no control of and focuses our energy on the things we can change.

What will you do to increase your self-awareness and make things happen right now?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Awareness and the Common Good - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Awareness and the Common Good

When you’re actively building self-awareness you understand how important your mental health and well-being are to promoting the common good. The more balanced you are, the more you empathize with others and treat them with kindness and compassion. Healthy, happy people tend to relate to others well because they don’t have the garbage that gets in the way of positive interactions, such as:

  • The need to control others.
  • The need to dominate.
  • The need to win.
  • The need to be better than others.
  • The need to get the last word in.
  • The need for power.
  • The need to be right.

These types of behaviors create divisions and adversarial relationships rather than mutual caring and collaboration. The key to building a kind community is for its members to be happy, balanced, fulfilled individuals who are able to treat others well. What will you do to be part of the common good?

Cheers,

Guy

Moving Past Criticism with Self-Awareness - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Moving Past Criticism with Self-Awareness

When you’re actively developing and practicing self-awareness, you’re able to accurately assess your strengths and areas for improvement, which helps you worry less about what other people say, including if they criticize you.

We’ve all been on the receiving end of criticism and, for some people, it can be debilitating and even paralyzing. The good news is you can be self-aware and learn how to listen to the criticism, focus it in a different way, and use it to become a stronger person. Here is what some smart people have to say about the subject.

David Brinkley:

A successful person is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks that others throw at him or her.

Elbert Hubbard:

To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.

Franklin P. Jones:

Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance, or a stranger.

Henri Frederic Amiel:

We are never more discontented with others than when we are discontented with ourselves.

A significant part of self-awareness is the ability to think and behave positively regardless of what people say. What will you do to move past criticism?

Cheers,

Guy

15 Benefits of Self-Awareness - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

15 Benefits of Self-Awareness

There are many benefits of self-awareness including:

  • Knowing yourself on a deeper level.
  • Listening to your inner voice.
  • Not having to live someone else’s life.
  • Living the life you want to.
  • Thinking, feeling and behaving positively.
  • Understanding why you think, feel and behave the way you do.
  • Being open to learning and growing.
  • Making your dreams come true.
  • Treating yourself and others well.
  • Living mindfully and consciously.
  • Being proactive rather than reactive.
  • Experiencing deep happiness and fulfillment.
  • Living authentically and meaningfully.
  • Simplifying your life.
  • You get to be the real you.

When you possess a high level of self-awareness, you honor who you really are and live a life where you don’t have to pretend you’re someone else. You also get to enjoy the peace of mind that comes from finally being able to be yourself. What will you do to live a self-aware life?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Awareness Means Looking at the Difficult Things in Life - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Awareness Means Looking at the Difficult Things in Life

A lot of times self-awareness is about looking at the difficult things in your life. These are the areas that perhaps you don’t want to bring up or examine. The challenge is to find a way to deal with the difficult issues in your life so you can move past them and live without their influence. It’s like finally healing a wound that’s been hurting for a long time.

The vast majority of people live their entire lives without resolving the pain from their past. This limits their ability to grow and succeed. Think of how amazing your life would be if you became self-aware to the point that you genuinely loved yourself and were able to live as the real you. Too many people get stuck living a life that they settle for instead of doing the hard work necessary to live a conscious, fulfilling life. Self-awareness requires effort but it allows you to let go of all the junk that holds you back.

If you’re afraid of looking at the difficult things in life, that’s normal. The choice you have is whether you decide to move past those things or you let them dictate what you should do. Self-aware people choose to deal with the challenges so they can live wonderfully healthy and expansive lives.

Cheers,

Guy

The Self-Awareness Guy