Have you ever had a relationship that isn’t going well and you have no idea how to improve it? Do you have a pattern of relationships that are permeated with discomfort and conflict?
In order to develop self-awareness and emotional intelligence in relationships, it is vital to to start building up your ability to deal with and manage your own emotions, as well as how you relate to other people’s emotions. Here are some examples of self-awareness and emotional intelligence in relationships:
- One person gets angry and the other person recognizes that there is an emotion under there and simply listens to the other person talk about it.
- Something stressful is happening in the relationship and both individuals are able to identify their emotions and use them to improve the situation.
- An emotion comes up and the other person doesn’t feel threatened and doesn’t react or fight back.
- Both individuals in the relationship are comfortable with their own emotions and each others’.
- Both individuals have empathy for the other.
- Both individuals are able to reason and problem solve because they can manage their own emotions.
- The relationship has a natural, calm, safe, healthy feeling.
Imagine how you would feel if the examples above were a part of your relationships. How many of these things do you currently do? Most people don’t have relationships like this because they haven’t learned how build self-awareness and use their emotions positively. Here are some ideas on how to start being self-aware, comfortable with your and other people’s emotions, and create more enjoyable relationships:
- Learn to identify and name the emotion you’re feeling, and do the same for other people.
- Shift from seeing your emotions as a threat or something to be avoided and start feeling them and using them to move in a positive direction.
- Learn how to experience your emotions and see them as a normal part of life.
- Learn how to deal with and manage your emotions so you can make positive decisions.
- Stop reacting to other people, let them experience their emotions without getting in the way or making it about you.
- Stop thinking that other people are trying to harm you with their emotions.
- Learn how to just observe and listen when other people are experiencing an emotion. Ask open-ended questions like, “What are you feeling?” or “What’s going on?” and just be there for them.
The key to building self-awareness and emotional intelligence in relationships is to practice feeling what’s going on inside you, be there for the other person when he/she is feeling something, and then using your self-awareness and emotions to take action in a positive manner. This process requires practice but, over time, you’ll enjoy much deeper, stronger, happier relationships.
What will you do to increase the self-awareness and emotional intelligence in your relationships?
Cheers,
Guy