Awareness of Emotions

The Secret to Developing Self-Awareness

-

Developing self-awareness means moving from living unconsciously to thinking, feeling and behaving intentionally. Countless people live their lives stuck in their comfort zones, repeating behaviors that don’t make them happy and not realizing they have other options. Here are five ideas to help you develop your self-awareness and improve the quality of your life:

  1. Be willing to look at yourself. You can’t live deliberately if you don’t take a look at and understand who you are as a person. Make it a habit to continuously assess what you do well and what areas need some strengthening.
  1. Examine your thoughts. Which of your thoughts help you succeed or make you happy? Which ones hold you back or keep you from living authentically? Evaluate how your thinking affects your life, keep what works and get rid of what doesn’t.
  1. Examine your emotions. Learn how to acknowledge and feel all of your emotions, not just the ones you’re comfortable with. Heal and bring closure to challenging issues or past hurts in your life. The more you learn how to feel and appropriately manage your emotions, the healthier and more balanced you’ll be.
  1. Examine your behaviors. There are things you currently do that yield excellent results and some that keep you from working on your dreams. Keep the behaviors that help you live meaningfully and let go of the ones that lead you off course.
  1. Be willing to make changes. It’s very difficult to grow in any way if you don’t believe change is possible or vital to your personal development. There is always something you can fine tune so you can become stronger and better able to live a fulfilling life.

Self-awareness matters because, when you understand yourself deeply, you’re able to live consciously instead of haphazardly. It’s the difference between stumbling through life repeating the same patterns and creating your own destiny. What will you do to keep developing your self-awareness?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Aware Leaders Possess Emotional Intelligence

-

Emotional intelligence and self-aware leadership are intimately linked because leaders who are able to deal with and manage their (and other people’s) emotions get more work done with less effort and build healthier workplaces.

Many leaders and employees get nervous when the topic of emotions in the workplace comes up. Emotions are important in the workplace because they affect how we all function and relate to one another. Emotions matter because we aren’t robots, we’re human beings who have feelings whether we choose to acknowledge it or not.

The mistake many leaders who lack self-awareness make is trying to ignore, redirect, or suppress their employees’ natural feelings. This creates workplaces where people aren’t sure how to express their emotions and where things can quickly go out of control.

The officially sanctioned workplace feelings are: anger, numbness and fake happiness. Beyond that, people quickly become uncomfortable. Here are some ideas to help leaders and employees develop their self-awareness and emotional intelligence; welcome all the emotions they experience; and deal with them openly and comfortably:

  • When someone has an emotion let it happen and be there for them without reacting negatively or defensively.
  • Listen to what people have to say when they’re feeling an emotion.
  • Avoid ignoring or pretending the emotion isn’t happening.
  • Stay away from saying things like, “Get over it,” “Everything’s OK,” or “Calm yourself down.” Phrases like these tell the person that their emotions don’t matter.
  • Move past the, “This isn’t appropriate in the workplace,” mentality to, “What can we learn from this situation and how can we validate people.”
  • Deal with emotions when they are manageable to avoid having to try to contain them when they’re out of control.
  • Institute a true open-door policy where people can talk with you about what they’re feeling without any fear of retaliation or punishment.
  • Work on your own ability to deal with any emotion that comes your way, including the ones you feel.
  • Set a positive example of how to express emotions appropriately.

The goal at work (and in life) is to view emotions as an indication that something is going on rather than a threat that has to be avoided at all costs. When you and your employees understand that emotions are a normal part of work life, you’ll all build a happier, more balanced workplace where people feel safe to express themselves honestly and openly.

What will you do to develop self-awareness and be an emotionally intelligent leader?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Awareness and the Horrible Neighbor

- - 2 Comments

If you’ve ever had a horrible neighbor you’re familiar with someone who lacks self-awareness. People who behave negatively don’t know what else to do so they work out the hurts from their past and present on everyone they encounter. Here are some of the characteristics of horrible neighbors:

  • Pursue self-gratification before thinking of others.
  • Don’t consider other people’s needs.
  • Lack empathy.
  • Poor boundaries.
  • Arbitrary rule setting, what’s OK for them to do is not tolerated from others.
  • Act like bullies.
  • Lack basic interpersonal skills like communication or problem solving.
  • Refuse to change behavior, don’t believe in change.
  • Think the world is a tough, hard place and that everyone is out to get them.
  • History of poor relationships.

The reason I’m writing about this topic is that it’s a powerful test of your ability to take care of yourself rather than getting sucked into another person’s negativity. For example, you have the ability to steer clear of your neighbor’s negative behavior by:

  • Realizing it’s not about you.
  • Learning how to manage your emotions.
  • Reminding yourself how great you are.
  • Healing your own hurts.
  • Deciding that you’re not going to react negatively.
  • Living your life positively.
  • Behaving with kindness and compassion.
  • Continuing to pursue your dreams.
  • Making plans to leave this mess behind.
  • Focusing on your own personal growth.

You have a lot of power to behave any way you want when you encounter people who try to make things difficult. What will you do to move past the horrible neighbor?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Awareness and Your Impact on Others

-

One of the hallmarks of self-awareness is the ability to understand the impact you have on others. Many people go through their entire lives only thinking of their own immediate needs and what will affect them directly. They react to their environment based not on their deepest dreams and wishes but with unconscious thoughts, feelings and actions. The whole point of self-awareness is to know yourself so well that you can step outside your own experience and empathize with others. Let’s look at two individuals and consider what their impact might be on other people:

1. Person One wakes up each morning and does whatever he needs to do to take care of himself and the people he knows. He doesn’t worry about what his actions do to anyone outside his immediate circle, it’s not even on his radar. He treats people based on how he feels at that particular moment and isn’t concerned with how they are affected by his behavior. He doesn’t pay much attention to his unresolved feelings and issues, preferring instead to stuff them deep inside or do things to forget about them. He does many things that bring him immediate pleasure and reward but not lasting fulfillment. He has a job that pays the bills but doesn’t reflect his true passions. He lives life so he can fit in with a particular group.

2. Person Two wakes up and spends some time meditating on who he really is deep down inside and how he can bring the most good to the most people today. He is constantly mindful of how his actions affect others although he still makes sure that he does things that bring him joy and meet his own needs. He treats people kindly and compassionately, the same way he treats himself. He actively works on healing his hurts and unresolved issues. He does things for pleasure but understands that true fulfillment comes from inner healing and self-awareness. His work reflects who he is deep inside. He lives life building a greater understanding of himself and others.

Countless people live their lives like Person One: Bouncing unconsciously from one event to another, one interaction to the another, one reaction to another, and letting their stuff get on others. A smaller number choose to live like Person Two: They know that it’s hard to be mindful but it creates deep happiness and fulfillment and allows them to treat other people kindly and respectfully.

When you know yourself well and are happy and healthy, you’ll tend to be a more positive person and treat everyone with care and compassion, a reflection of how you feel about yourself. What will you do to make sure you impact people positively?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Awareness and Political Correctness

- - 2 Comments

Self-awareness and political correctness go hand in hand because a major part of being comfortable with yourself is treating others with kindness and compassion. It’s really difficult to be genuinely happy when you’re stepping on someone. The way you feel about yourself deep inside is reflected in how you perceive and interact with others. When you live a life of introspection, openness, flexibility and balance, you welcome other perspectives without feeling threatened. Here are some ideas to move past struggling with political correctness:

  • Be happy with yourself so you can treat others positively.
  • Get to know yourself well so you can get to know others.
  • Look beyond your own immediate needs.
  • Practice empathy and kindness.
  • Consider other points of view without feeling attacked.
  • Let go of the need to control or dominate others.

It takes conscious and deliberate effort to think of others and behave in a kind, empathic, respectful way. The key to living a fulfilling life is to be so happy about who you are that you do everything in your power not to hurt other people. What will you do to increase your self-awareness to treat yourself and others well?

Cheers,

Guy

15 Characteristics of Self-Aware, Happy People

-

Being happy isn’t some unattainable abstract concept, you can consciously work on it until it becomes an integral part of your personal development. The challenge for many people is to increase their self-awareness, look at the things that keep them from feeling joy, and replace them with new ways of thinking and behaving that help them move in a positive direction. Here are fifteen characteristics of self-aware, happy people:

  1. Absence of irrational or excessive fear.
  2. Integration of different parts of their minds.
  3. Ability to behave with empathy and compassion.
  4. Help themselves and others succeed.
  5. Balance and integration between personal and professional lives.
  6. Laugh often and enjoy the lighter side of life.
  7. Able to consider more than one perspective.
  8. Welcome change.
  9. Continually build self-awareness.
  10. Behave joyfully and consistently in all areas of their lives.
  11. Work every day on being happy.
  12. Understand that happiness doesn’t mean endless pleasure.
  13. Actively work on healing their own hurts.
  14. Find meaning inside themselves.
  15. Live a life that reflects who they really are deep inside.

If you already practice thinking and behaving in these ways you know the sense of deep balance and fulfillment they bring. If you don’t, then you have an amazing opportunity to begin working on whichever area needs attention in your life. Being happy isn’t about what you say or how you appear on the outside, it’s about your actual thoughts, emotions and behaviors.

What will you do to develop self-awareness and be genuinely happy?

Cheers,

Guy

Why Are Self-Awareness and Emotional Intelligence Important?

-

Why are self-awareness and emotional intelligence important? Because they can make the difference between living a happy, balanced life and an unsettled, difficult one. They also deeply affect your decision making process and how you get along with others.

Imagine being able understand and deal with and manage any emotion that comes your way. Why should you care? Here are some reasons why self-awareness and emotional intelligence are important:

  • You are able to identify what you’re feeling inside.
  • You’re able to manage your emotions.
  • You’re able to use your feelings to take action in a positive direction.
  • You are able to deal with other people’s emotions.
  • You are able to separate your emotions from those of other people.
  • You get along well with others.
  • You possess empathy and build stronger relationships with other people.
  • You are more flexible and open to change.
  • You don’t live in fear or anger.
  • You are more self-aware.
  • You are able to handle your emotions so well that your life is easier and more enjoyable.
  • You are able to consciously manage how you feel, think, and behave.
  • You make decisions and take action based on reason instead of impulse or reactiveness.

Think about what your life would look like if you only did one of the things I’ve listed here. Now what if you lived your life doing all these things? What would your experience be? How would it be different from how you do things now?

The reason self-awareness and emotional intelligence are so important is that they give you the tools to live life consciously and deliberately. You no longer have to worry about reacting negatively to emotions or letting them wreak havoc or keep you off balance. As you learn how to positively experience your emotions, your quality of life will improve.

What will you do to develop self-awareness and emotional intelligence?

Cheers,

Guy

The Self-Awareness Guy