The Self-Awareness Guy

what is self-awareness

Stop Choosing the Safe Path in Life

Stop Choosing the Safe Path in Life

There are people who spend their entire lives choosing the safe path, which means that they do what they've always done, how they've always done it. They value feeling safe and secure over all else, including self-awareness, no matter what the consequences. In the process, they lose their true selves and live middle-of-the-road, ordinary, as-uneventful-as-possible existences.

I've always wondered why people live like this, and the answer that often arises is fear. When people are scared of stepping outside their comfort zones or of being their real selves, they tend to do everything they can to remain in their cocoon. They never fly because they're too busy worrying about everything that might possibly go wrong or be slightly different.

One of the reasons I love coaching and training people who value self-awareness is that they live more courageously; striving to understand who they are and where they want to go. It's not that they live dangerously, just that they're willing to test their own thought processes and face their fears.

What will you do to avoid choosing the safe path in life?

Cheers,

Guy



Team Building: Healing Your Workplace

Team Building: Healing Your Workplace

Team building and healing are strongly linked in the workplace because teams can’t function well if everyone is walking around carrying personal grudges and hurts.  It often falls on the team leader to help everyone function effectively but it’s nearly impossible if he or she is carrying around a lot of negative energy.

There are many negative workplace experiences that affected people negatively.  Individuals sometimes hold on to these feelings for a long time even when they realize intellectually that they would be better off letting them go.  I train leaders and employees about how they can end this cycle of negative feelings and thoughts and build stronger teams and it almost always begins with healing.

Healing your workplace is one of the most important concepts for you and your employees’ well being and it begins with healing yourself.  If you think about it, you deal with people very differently when you are healthy rather than hurt.  If you want to create a work environment that is free of hurts from the past, then think about the following questions.

1.  What do I need to heal?

This question will help you define what it is that you need to look at.  There is no right or wrong answer, you get to decide what part of you or your workplace is hurt and then you get to heal it.  No issue is to small or trivial, if you need to heal it it is a valid starting point.  You can have several issues but try to pick one to start on.

2.  How will I heal myself?

There are many avenues you can take to heal yourself and they almost always involve getting help from an outside person who can help you get a clear perspective.  You benefit from realizing that you need help and then reaching out to someone who can partner with you to make it happen.  There is no right or wrong approach to healing, look for an approach that works for you.  Some people talk to a friend, others a therapist and others HR.

3.  How will I know that I am healed?

The goal of healing is to come to terms and feel at peace with the issues you face.  You will know you are healed when an issue no longer stirs negative feelings inside you.  You will also see improvements in your day to day work life because that issue won’t be affecting you in the same way.  Healing can take time so be patient and keep working on taking care of yourself.  Take it easy on yourself and only work on healing one thing at a time.  Once you feel better about one thing then you are then ready to move on to the next issue.

Do some careful thinking about these three questions and you will begin the process of discovering what hurts and how to heal it.  The idea is not to reopen terrible wounds and relive those moments, it’s to acknowledge that you have an issue and work on it.  Once you heal yourself you’ll be in a great position to help your team do the same.  The result is a workplace where people aren’t working out their personal stuff on each other.  How will you start healing your workplace?

Cheers,

Guy



Self-Awareness Reduces Anger

Self-Awareness Reduces Anger

One of the biggest benefits of building self-awareness is that it reduces anger. If you wake up each day and don't pursue your dreams, go to a job you hate, hang out with people who don't value the real you, stuff your feelings, or pretend you're fulfilled, you're very likely to be upset. Living this way leads to anger because you're just not happy. Here are some ideas on how you can use self-awareness to improve the situation:

  • Agree with yourself to move in a new direction.
  • Get to know who you are deep inside.
  • Understand your strengths and areas for improvement.
  • Choose one thing to work on.
  • Take action each day to create movement in your life.
  • Praise yourself each time you notice a positive change.
  • Repeat the process.

People feel unsettled and upset when they're not living authentically or doing things they find meaningful. What will you do to be less angry?

Cheers,

Guy



5 Steps to Great Dating

5 Steps to Great Dating

Great dating is about knowing who you are and how to be treated well. We often go for exciting people rather than those who will treat us well and will become more exciting over time. Think about the following next time you are trying to improve your dating experiences:

1. Who am I as a person?
2. What do I want out of dating?
3. Do the people I date build me up as a person and make me feel great about myself?
4. Do I date because I’m healthy and happy or do I date to fulfill some other need?
5. Am I doing things to date people who share my interests and dreams?

Dating doesn’t have to be serious and boring, it can be very exciting when you find people who really share your interests and who treat you well. Always keep in mind that you deserve to date people who make you feel great and let you be who you are.

Cheers,

Guy

Why Are Leaders So Stubborn?

Why Are Leaders So Stubborn?

Leaders sometimes think that being stubborn is the same as being right about something. They hang on to their position no matter what happens because they just don’t see any other option. There’s nothing terribly wrong with this behavior but it does affect the leader and team involved; usually in less than positive ways. Here’s a couple of things to think about if you know someone who is amazingly stubborn.

Being Stubborn is a Defense Mechanism

People who are stubborn hang on to their beliefs at all costs because they feel they are defending something very important.  Even if the issue doesn’t seem important to others, it is to them.  People in this situation frequently believe that if they give up their position, something terrible will happen.

Being Stubborn is a Dead End Street

Once someone decides to be stubborn they have painted themselves into a corner because they severely limit any options to fix anything. They hang onto their point of view no matter what and literally can’t explore other options because they don’t allow for any.

What is Right?

Stubborn people frequently think they are right but, if you think about it, what’s right and what’s wrong? We can usually measure what’s right by whether the results of a given behavior leads to positive outcomes. Yet most stubborn behavior just leads to entrenchment. I’m not certain most people would say that being stuck is the same as being right or happy.

So What Can We Do?

Stubbornness can be a daunting challenge. Some people are so stubborn that they will live a miserable life just to prove their point. The only real way to alleviate stubbornness is for someone to get help to interrupt the behavior patterns and beliefs that lead to the current situation. There’s not much other people can do except make themselves available to talk with the person and set limits and boundaries.

Being stubborn rarely leads to positive results and it isn’t very effective at creating inspiring workplaces. The good news is that the cycle can be interrupted by taking a good look at oneself and slightly shifting the behaviors that lead to being stubborn. The result?  Greater happiness and more successful leaders.

Cheers,
Guy