work environment

Using Self-Awareness to Improve Relationships - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Using Self-Awareness to Improve Relationships

/ / Consciousness of Self, Self-Awareness / , , ,

You can use self-awareness to improve your relationships starting today because, when you understand how your emotions, thoughts, and actions affect your interactions with others, you’re better able to connect with them positively and understand where they’re coming from.

It’s easy to focus exclusively on our own perspective in relationships. We tend to think of our relationship issues in terms we are familiar with and this often means we keep repeating the same patterns and acting the same way we always have. This works well if we get great results but what happens if our behaviors always lead to less than satisfactory relationships.

We all know people who lack self-awareness and never quite resolve their differences with others, and we watch them repeat the same pattern over and over. I’ve noticed that it is helpful to let in some new information and get a fresh perspective. When we let new information in it’s like opening a window in a stuffy room, we can breathe better and think more clearly. Think about some of the following ideas next time you feel stuck in your relationship.

1. Who can I turn to that is not involved in my situation and can give me impartial advice?
2. Am I willing to let an outside person offer me advice?
3. How open am I to talking about personal issues with an outside person?
4. How open am I to doing the work necessary to move in a different direction?
5. What actions will I commit to doing?

Think about these questions and keep in mind that none of us has all the answers but we all have the ability to improve our self-awareness and acquire new information if we are open enough. Let some air in, enjoy a fresh perspective and start moving in a new direction. What will you do to increase your self-awareness so you can improve your relationships?

Cheers,

Guy

How to Achieve Goals and Increase Self-Awareness - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

How to Achieve Goals and Increase Self-Awareness

/ / Consciousness of Self, Self-Awareness / , , , , ,

Here are some practical tips to achieve goals and increase self-awareness:

  • Pick one issue you want to work on. Define it as specifically and narrowly as possible.
  • Keep your goal manageable. For example: “I will write one chapter of my book,” “I’m going to work on 50 books.” This sets you up for success instead of feeling disappointed because you took on too much at once.
  • Monitor your progress and celebrate as you go along. When you accomplish one task, congratulate yourself and reflect on the great work you did.
  • Keep taking small steps even when you don’t feel like it. You will feel at times that nothing positive is happening. Keep pushing through those thoughts by continuing to take action.

An important part of self-awareness is to keep things manageable and work little by little. It’s the small steps that eventually lead to big results.

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Awareness, Team Building, and Workplace Relationships - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Awareness, Team Building, and Workplace Relationships

/ / Self-Awareness in Leadership / , ,

If you’re a leader who possesses self-awareness, then you know how important team building and promoting positive workplace relationships are to creating a healthy, high-functioning organization.

The leaders and employees I consult with frequently talk to me about not feeling like they connect with certain people in the workplace. It’s almost as if they lack self-awareness and expect the other person to behave a certain way or read their mind. This is a very common experience in workplace relationships: One person expects a certain kind of interaction while the other seems oblivious. This dynamic leads to a lot of frustrated people and poorly functioning teams.

The difficulty arises when people hold on to their expectations even when they see repeated evidence that they will never get what  they want. They hang on to their hopes for a long time waiting for something to magically change. Their expectations can easily become an obstacle to building positive workplace relationships because they expect things to go a certain way rather than working on improving their own self-awareness and dealing with what’s actually happening.

No amount of hope can change the course of your work relationships and you can’t wish your way out of a negative situation. The only way you can introduce positive energy into your relationships is by having the self-awareness to do things that change the patterns you’ve established.

Changing the way you do things is the only way to affect your situation. No amount of hope or expectations can take the place of being self-aware and applying effective behaviors such as excellent communication, team building or problem solving skills. The great news is that you can do things to change the course of your work relationships, it just requires some courage and taking action to move in a different direction.

What will you do to use self-awareness to promote team building and positive workplace relationships?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Awareness Facilitates Team Building and Reduces Conflict in the Workplace - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Awareness Facilitates Team Building and Reduces Conflict in the Workplace

/ / Self-Awareness in Leadership / , , ,

Conflict in the workplace can be painful and sap your energy. My clients who lack self-awareness often ask me what to do about a employee who they can’t get along with or people who are in constant conflict. It can be tricky to deal with workplace conflict because most organizations don’t have strategies beyond reprimands and other punishments.

Our workplaces are often places where we give people a free pass to hurt each other because we lack the self-awareness to do anything else. We like to think we know how to deal with conflict but we end up enduring feuds that last years.

So how can you reduce conflict in your workplace and increase self-awareness? Here’s a couple of ideas to think about:

1. Develop a strategy to deal with conflict. Set up clear goals, expectations and parameters and ask for input from leadership and staff.

2. Inform everyone that this is the new way of doing things and train them to make sure everyone is on the same page.

3. Inform your workplace that you have resources in place to help people work things out.

4. Work with your leaders and employees to give them the skills to resolve their own conflicts.

5. Set the example and consistently behave in a way that reduces conflict.

6. Develop an ongoing conflict resolution training program and participate actively in it.

7. Expect resistance to your new ideas about conflict. Things will settle in once you train people and they get a chance to practice the new skills.

Healthy workplaces help their leaders and employees resolve their own conflicts in peaceful and lasting ways. As a leader, you set the example for how conflict is viewed and dealt with in your organization. You can start designing a conflict resolution program today that will help you create a workplace where people get along and aren’t at each other’s throats all the time.

What will you do to develop self-awareness, build stronger teams, and reduce conflict in your workplace?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Awareness and The Big Mouth - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Awareness and The Big Mouth

/ / Consciousness of Self / , , , , ,

People who lack self-awareness have no idea what’s coming out of their mouths and they’ll say things that reveal their inner thoughts and get them in trouble at work and at home. We see examples of this all around us when people make sexist, racially tinged or other inappropriate or clumsy comments because they have limited understanding of how their statements might affect others. It happens a lot in the workplace when leaders trample on their employees or hurt them in some way without realizing that there are other options.

A major element of self-awareness is the ability to practice effective communication, as in, thinking before you speak and, more importantly, being as healthy a person as you possibly can be so that you understand how not to step on others. Here are some tips to heal a case of big mouth:

  • Listen more than you talk.
  • Think before you speak.
  • Resist the urge to say the first thing that comes to your mind.
  • Ask yourself how your words might be perceived by others.
  • If you think what you have to say might be offensive, it will likely be.
  • Clarify what’s going on by asking open-ended questions.
  • Ask people for feedback.
  • Watch people’s facial expressions and reactions.
  • Choose to step outside yourself and consider others’ feelings.
  • Think of a kind way of saying things.
  • Say things that build people up.
  • Monitor your own body language and reactions.

When you practice these behaviors you’ll run a far smaller risk of finding a foot lodged in your mouth and you’ll build a more compassionate and respectful workplace. You’ll also save time and effort because you won’t have to deal with the misunderstandings or conflicts that arise when the message is clouded by extraneous elements. What will you do to make sure you’re communicating effectively, kindly and compassionately?

Cheers,

Guy

Developing Self-Awareness: 2 Exercises - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Developing Self-Awareness: 2 Exercises

/ / Consciousness of Self, Self-Awareness / , , , ,

Here are two exercises for developing self-awareness.

1. The Personal Inventory

The way this self-awareness exercise works is that it requires that you actively look at yourself and start working on the things that don’t lead in a positive direction in your life. The process of working on certain issues helps you gain better insight into the areas of your life that might benefit from some extra attention.

  • In a notebook divide a page into two columns, label one column “Positive” and the other “Other Than Positive.”
  • Write down all the positive things you feel, think, and do in the “Positive” column.
  • Write down the things you think, feel, and do that lead in an “Other Than Positive” column.
  • Read the items in the “Positive” column and praise yourself for each item.
  • Look at your “Other Than Positive” column and pick the one item that seems the easiest to deal with. Once you pick a single item, decide on one action you will do to improve that item. Each subsequent day keep picking something to deal with that same item until it is no longer an issue that leads you in a less than positive direction.
  • Once your “Other Than Positive” item is no longer an issue, go back to the first step and repeat the entire process.
  • Repeat this exercise until you have very few “Other Than Positive” items.
  • Remember that developing self-awareness takes months, years, and will likely require a lifetime of commitment to learning and growing.

2. Looking Deep Inside

In this self-awareness exercise you get to take a deeper look at your emotions. A key element of self-awareness is the ability to look deep within and understand who your really are deep down inside and why you feel, think, and do what you do. Here’s how it works:

  • Think of an issue that creates a lot of discomfort in your life.
  • Label that issue with one of these four emotions (whichever fits the best): Anger, Sadness, Happiness, Fear.
  • Once you have chosen a single label then allow yourself five minutes to think of the issue and the emotion attached to it. After five minutes, write down your impressions of what you felt.
  • Keep repeating this exercise until you have a strong sense that the discomfort is no longer there or is greatly lessened.
  • Pick another issue and repeat the entire process.
  • Remember that this isn’t a one-time activity, it requires long-term commitment to developing your self-awareness.

You’ll find these exercises are challenging, some people even find them nearly impossible at first, but that’s the whole point of self-awareness; it’s a gradual process that takes time and repeated effort. So that you don’t get overloaded, I would recommend you work on these exercises on alternating weeks until you get really good at doing them, at which time you can do them simultaneously; the idea is to keep working on them until they become second nature. You’ll find that your self-awareness will naturally increase as you do the exercises. Please feel free to share your progress in the comments section below this post or contact me directly, I’d love to hear how you’re doing.

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Awareness and Being Balanced - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Awareness and Being Balanced

/ / Consciousness of Self, Self-Awareness / , , , , ,

I was talking to a highly accomplished leader today who had the self-awareness to realize he was feeling overwhelmed from juggling multiple projects and tasks and not allotting time for activities that would provide him more balance. His story is the same as countless other leaders trying to make sense of their work or personal lives.

You can become so engrossed in living at a rapid pace that you forget you can enjoy life more if you pause occasionally to relax, recharge and reflect. Take some time during your day to not do anything. Look at a sunset, sit by a stream, go walking in the city with no particular goal. Life becomes more enjoyable when you take time to regain your balance.

A big part of building self-awareness is the ability to monitor how you’re thinking, feeling and behaving and knowing when you need to shift direction a bit. Balance helps you maintain a positive course because it keeps you grounded and focused on the bigger picture. You’ll always experience highs and lows but, if you nurture the middle, you’ll be able to deal with anything that comes your way. What will you do to create balance in your life?

Cheers,

Guy

The Self-Awareness Guy