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Self-Awareness and Dealing with a Difficult Boss - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Awareness and Dealing with a Difficult Boss

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Self-awareness is an invaluable skill to possess when dealing with a difficult boss. When you are comfortable with yourself and understand your own emotions, thoughts, and behaviors, you’re better able to deal with any person who comes your way, no matter how challenging they may be.

It’s hard and unpleasant to work for a tyrant. Difficult bosses micromanage, keep us off balance, withhold information, shout at us, undermine our efforts, avoid us or perpetrate any number of behaviors that make our time in the workplace unpleasant.

This is all normal. If you think about it, people are thrown into the business world where they re-enact all the dramas from their upbringing and personal life on the people they manage. There are no classes on how to keep your personal strife from affecting your subordinates.

Regardless of what your boss does, there are things you can do to develop your self-awareness so you can take care of yourself and deal with the situation realistically. Think about the following ideas the next time you find yourself feeling exasperated by a troublesome boss:

1. It’s not about you. People behave the way they do because of their own issues. Just because they don’t know how to treat you well doesn’t mean that you have to take on that burden and feel bad about it. Remember to take care of yourself regardless of how your boss treats you.

2. It’s all in your perspective. Ever wonder why some people are bothered by a certain behavior and others take it in stride? You get to choose what you focus on. If you let your boss yank your chain you give up all your power. If you redirect or ignore negative behavior you become stronger.

3. Try something other than confrontation. Many people think that the only way to deal with challenging issues is to get in someone’s face. While this may stop the behavior temporarily, it rarely gets rid of the underlying cause. Do some research on two-way communication and problem solving to build up your ability to work with your boss on finding solutions.

4. Listen more than you talk. By listening you let the person tell you what’s going on and you learn a great deal about what’s causing them to behave in this negative manner. It also helps you avoid mistaken assumptions.

5. Leave your ego at the door. We tend to get caught up in trying to win battles or avoiding embarrassment but that gets in the way of actually fixing stuff. Model the behavior you want to see. A calm and caring attitude will get you farther than trying to prove that your point of view is correct.

6. Think long term. When trying to fix a situation with a difficult boss please realize that it will take considerable time to alleviate. Remember that it took them a long time to get to where they are, it will take long-term patience and kindness to interrupt the pattern. Expect that you will not get the results you desire the first few times you try this approach.

7. Stick with it. The only way situations change is by consistently repeating new behaviors. If you practice these steps over time, people will eventually become accustomed to your new way of doing things. Keep in mind that they may actually get worse initially before they get better.

8. Have an alternate plan. If all your efforts fail then you might need to evaluate your options for the future. Life is too short to endure poor treatment. You deserve to work at a place where you are appreciated. Start planning the next phase of your life today and you will have something positive to look forward to.

Nobody enjoys having a difficult boss but there are things we can do to increase our self-awareness, regain our power, and live a happier professional life. When you choose to work things out with a problematic boss you not only affect your interaction with him or her, you begin to take control of the remainder of your life.

What will you do to increase your self-awareness and deal effectively with your difficult boss?

Cheers,

Guy

Dating Tips and Self-Awareness - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Dating Tips and Self-Awareness

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I’ve noticed that when people ask me for relationship advice a recurring questions is, “Why can’t I find anyone.” There are many ways people arrive at this conclusion. I’ll list them and put a self-awareness twist on each. In this way you can move in a different direction and find out how much power you really have to affect your dating life.

1. I keep going out with bad boys/girls. Different direction: I get myself healthy enough to recognize that it’s OK to treat myself well and go out with positive people.

2. I feel lonely. Different direction: I actively work on things that resolve why I am lonely and emphasize learning about myself before dating.

3. Where can I meet people? Different direction: When you get yourself healthy and do the things you love you move in circles where you attract people who are like you.

4. All men/women are terrible. Different direction: There are a lot of great people out there we just need to learn to accept them into our lives and be healthy enough to encourage good people to go out with us.

Hope these ideas help navigate the dating waters. Dating is ultimately what you make it; you have a lot of control over where it goes.

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Awareness and Your Thoughts on Diversity - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Awareness and Your Thoughts on Diversity

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When I train leaders and organizations I often listen for their thoughts and attitudes on diversity. Leaders who possess self-awareness tend to welcome diversity and are open to finding ways to use it to improve their workplaces. If leaders believe that diverse people can get along and work together well, then they promote diversity; if they think that people can’t be trusted and don’t welcome a variety of viewpoints, then they will be suspicious or fear it.

You get results based on the thoughts you bring to workplace. Some of the words (which come from thoughts) I’ve heard people say that may hinder diversity practices include:

  • They’ll never get along.
  • They are different than us.
  • It’s always been that way.
  • Diversity’s a joke, let’s just do it my way.
  • I don’t trust that person.
  • I bet they’re talking about me.
  • I’ve tried everything and nothing works.
  • They have an attitude.

As thinking human beings, we have a choice as to how we approach almost any topic including diversity. Think about the phrases above and what kind of results you might get in the workplace if you thought that way. Now think about what kind of results you might observe if you increased your self-awareness and thought along the following lines:

  • We can work on this.
  • We’ll figure out a way to bring them together.
  • I’ll start a conversation with him/her.
  • I value different opinions.
  • We value all people in this workplace.
  • We focus on promoting collaboration, not conflict.
  • I’m going to trust that person.

What kind of results would you get if your thoughts were more like these? Think of the effect that might have on your workplace. Diversity is really just a state of mind. What you think about ends up being what you see in your workplace. If you’re self-aware and open to new things, then diversity will be an excellent tool to help you build a high-functioning organization. How will you improve your self-awareness and use diversity as an asset?

Cheers,

Guy

Benefits of Self-Awareness in the Workplace - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Benefits of Self-Awareness in the Workplace

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There are a lot of benefits of self-awareness in the workplace, including building a happier, more productive workplace where people interact positively and get more done. Self-awareness is a vital skill for everyone in any organization because it helps things run better.

Self-awareness is defined as the ability to recognize, understand, and deal positively with one’s own (and others’) emotions and thoughts, which leads to positive behaviors and the ability to interact well with other people. It’s important in workplaces because it makes things easier for everyone.

Here are some of the most important benefits of self-awareness in the workplace:

  • Leadership treats people well because they aren’t behaving out of fear or ego.
  • Leaders are mentally healthy and model positive behaviors.
  • Employees are better taken care of and are treated as the valuable members of the organization that they are.
  • People don’t work out their problems on each other, they have the ability to understand their own strengths and weaknesses and interact positively.
  • Communication is much easier because people know how to get out of the way and listen to each other.
  • People get more done with less effort because they don’t waste time with power struggles or the need for dominance or power.
  • Less conflict.
  • Fewer arguments.
  • People are able to work well with each other.
  • People understand each other better.
  • Everyone is more motivated because leadership encourages them to do what they do best.
  • People treat each other with empathy and kindness.
  • The organization functions as a cohesive whole.

Imagine what your workplace would look like if you and your employees did all or even some of these things, you might actually enjoy being there instead of having it be a constant struggle.

Self-awareness is vital in the workplace because people are happier and work better when they feel healthy inside. What will you do to enjoy enjoy the benefits of self-awareness in your workplace?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Awareness and Perseverance - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Awareness and Perseverance

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Perseverance is one of the most important traits a person can possess and is part of self-awareness. People who are able to understand and manage their own emotions, thoughts, and actions persevere more and move past the challenges in their lives.

To me it means having the self-awareness necessary to move forward and trust my inner voice no matter what happens. Very often, talented people will stifle their work or choose a “safer” career path because of what they heard from well-meaning people as they were growing up. I’ve found it helpful to keep going in spite of any inside and outside disparagement and just do my thing.

It doesn’t take superhuman effort to keep going, simply do one small thing each day that helps you continue your journey. Keep building your self-awareness so you can continue clarifying what you really want to do in life. Repeated modest actions will eventually add up to a great body of work and deep fulfillment. How will you build up your self-awareness and keep persevering?

Cheers,

Guy

Leadership, Lack of Self-Awareness, and Workplace Communication - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Leadership, Lack of Self-Awareness, and Workplace Communication

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Most leaders will tell you that communication is vital to a well-functioning workplace. Then they demonstrate their lack of self-awareness by screaming, ignoring, dominating, misunderstanding or annoying their employees. There is a huge gap between what leaders say they know about effective communication and what they actually practice. Here are five of the biggest workplace communication mistakes.

1.  Not listening. How can you gather the information you need or figure out what is going on in your workplace if you don’t listen? You can’t. Listening is the most vital skill to acquire information, promote collaboration and build trust in the workplace.

2.  Assuming you know what the other person is going to say. Cutting people off because you’ve “heard it all before” or you’re irritated is a great way to tell your employees they don’t matter. Try listening to your employees without interrupting before you decide you know what they’re talking about.

3.  Thinking of the next thing you want to say instead of what the other person is saying. Many leaders are obsessed with the next wonderful thing they’re going to say. Fight this urge by clearing your mind before and while you’re listening to your employees and focusing on understanding what they’re saying.

4.  Getting angry or upset and reacting negatively to what you’re hearing. Your employees will be much less likely to share information or ideas with you if you always fly off the handle. Communication doesn’t have to be a constant struggle. Work on controlling your own emotions so you can communicate on a deeper level with your employees.

5.  Not setting aside time to talk. Hurried conversations often end up in misunderstandings because the participants haven’t devoted the time necessary to get on the same page. Make sure your important conversations are carried out with plenty of time for each participant to understand what’s being said.

Do you recognize yourself in any of these five concepts? If so, no worries, simply make small adjustments to develop your self-awareness and move toward a more balanced communication style that will get you better results. Effective communication is about practicing positive behaviors every day, not just saying you do. What will you do to increase your self-awareness and practice effective communication?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Awareness Can Help You Practice Effective Team Building - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Awareness Can Help You Practice Effective Team Building

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A lot of leaders and organizations want to practice effective team building but don’t have the self-awareness to actually do it. I often hear people in workplaces saying things out loud that illustrate why they aren’t building teams, but they’re not aware they’re doing it. People have beliefs hardwired inside them that they don’t even realize get in the way of bringing employees together and encouraging them to collaborate. Here are ten of the most prevalent beliefs that show a lack of self-awareness and that block team building.

  1. They’ll never get along. If you believe people won’t get along they’ll prove you right almost every time.
  2. We’re rugged individualists. Individuals functioning in this way aren’t as adept at working in teams as people who believe in collaboration.
  3. If you want it done right do it yourself. If you’re doing everything it leaves your team stranded and feeling like they can’t do anything right.
  4. Teams must have a strong leader. It’s often the strong leader that gets in the way of everyone having a voice and participating actively.
  5. Collaboration was fine in kindergarten but this is the real world. If you believe this then I know how you practice team building.
  6. Everybody has a specific job. This keeps people firmly in their boxes and discourages creativity.
  7. Team building is secondary to productivity. Many leaders overlook the idea that if you build a strong foundation of high-functioning teams you become more productive.
  8. Team building is too touchy-feely. Leaders who believe this create workplaces that only allow three feelings: forced happiness, fear and anger.
  9. I don’t have to participate. Nothing says you lack commitment to team building than not participating in it with your employees.
  10. I don’t have time for team building. This is like saying you don’t have time to build a roof over your building because you’ve got to get to work and then it rains and soaks everything.

Self-aware leaders understand that team building is a vital building block to create workplaces where people interact positively and help each other get things done. The way you actually build teams is to have the self-awareness to objectively review and understand the team building strengths and areas for improvement in your workplace and take action in small increments over time. You might offer ongoing team building training or provide opportunities for people to work together to solve problems. Some organizations form brainstorming groups that tackle thorny issues. The idea is to gradually build a workplace where working collaboratively is encouraged. What will you do to create a culture of self-awareness and team building in your organization?

Cheers,

Guy

The Self-Awareness Guy