Consciousness of Self

How to Use Self-Awareness to Fix a Relationship Problem - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

How to Use Self-Awareness to Fix a Relationship Problem

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Self-awareness can help you fix your relationship problems because, when the people involved understand and can manage their emotions, thoughts, and actions, they are in a good position to resolve the situation.

Many people experience difficulties in their relationships and don’t know what to do about them. They repeat an endless cycle of getting hurt, hurting back and perpetuating the hurt through their actions. It even happens in dating situations and marriages where both people are kind, intelligent and caring. So what is it that causes this conflict and what can we do to increase our self-awareness and do something about the issue? It helps to first examine why conflict occurs. Here are some of the causes:

  • Neither person understands the other person’s point of view.
  • There is not a meeting of the minds on issues.
  • Neither side backs down.
  • Each side tries to win.
  • Neither side has the skills or knowledge to fix the problem.
  • The people involved are hurt, angry, frustrated or sad.

The good news is that you can help your situation by being self-aware and thinking about new ways of doing things. The key point is to start a process where nobody wins and both of you collaborate to find a solution that works for everyone involved. Consider using the following ideas to begin increasing your self-awareness and connecting with your significant other in ways that will benefit both of you.

  • You both agree to talk.
  • Set up an interruption-free time to talk.
  • Agree on one thing to talk about.
  • Brainstorm possible ideas to fix the problem.
  • Evaluate each option.
  • Agree together on the resolution that works best for both of you.
  • Work together to take action on the resolution.
  • Move to the next problem.
  • Think about getting a neutral person involved to mediate.

I also encourage my clients to do away with the word “problem” and look at the challenges in life as opportunities for personal growth and movement in a more positive direction. Looking at challenging situations in a positive light gives you the opportunity to actually fix things rather than repeating the same patterns.

So the next time you are in the middle of a fight, redirect your thoughts to the possibility that both of you can work together and purposefully resolve the matter. What will you do to increase your self-awareness and fix your relationship problems?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Awareness and Doing Things Now - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Awareness and Doing Things Now

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Did you know that you can use self-awareness to start doing things right now to improve your life. When you understand yourself deep inside, you’re better able to take action to transform your situation.

We spend so much time thinking about the things we could have done that we forget the power we have to change things in the present. It’s easy to get stuck in a mode where we replay past events or make up future possibilities but that never seems to affect the present.

Spending more time consciously working on the present is the only way to change your destiny. If you start today by telling yourself that you will work on something occurring in the present you will suddenly have command of your destiny and power to change whatever you want.

Try doing that today; find something that you keep hoping would happen in the past or future and re-focus it in the present. Ask yourself what you can do right now to affect something in your life right now. Doing stuff in the present helps us take our minds off all the things we have no control of and focuses our energy on the things we can change.

What will you do to increase your self-awareness and make things happen right now?

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Awareness and the Common Good - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Awareness and the Common Good

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When you’re actively building self-awareness you understand how important your mental health and well-being are to promoting the common good. The more balanced you are, the more you empathize with others and treat them with kindness and compassion. Healthy, happy people tend to relate to others well because they don’t have the garbage that gets in the way of positive interactions, such as:

  • The need to control others.
  • The need to dominate.
  • The need to win.
  • The need to be better than others.
  • The need to get the last word in.
  • The need for power.
  • The need to be right.

These types of behaviors create divisions and adversarial relationships rather than mutual caring and collaboration. The key to building a kind community is for its members to be happy, balanced, fulfilled individuals who are able to treat others well. What will you do to be part of the common good?

Cheers,

Guy

Moving Past Criticism with Self-Awareness - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Moving Past Criticism with Self-Awareness

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When you’re actively developing and practicing self-awareness, you’re able to accurately assess your strengths and areas for improvement, which helps you worry less about what other people say, including if they criticize you.

We’ve all been on the receiving end of criticism and, for some people, it can be debilitating and even paralyzing. The good news is you can be self-aware and learn how to listen to the criticism, focus it in a different way, and use it to become a stronger person. Here is what some smart people have to say about the subject.

David Brinkley:

A successful person is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks that others throw at him or her.

Elbert Hubbard:

To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.

Franklin P. Jones:

Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance, or a stranger.

Henri Frederic Amiel:

We are never more discontented with others than when we are discontented with ourselves.

A significant part of self-awareness is the ability to think and behave positively regardless of what people say. What will you do to move past criticism?

Cheers,

Guy

Being Happy and Self-Awareness - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Being Happy and Self-Awareness

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There’s a big difference between saying you’re happy and behaving in ways that reflect genuine joy, fulfillment and balance. If you’re actively developing and practicing self-awareness, you know that finding happiness is an ongoing learning and growth process. You can’t just wake up one day and declare that you’re happy, it requires gradual, deliberate and conscious work. Here are some questions you can ask yourself to see if you’re genuinely happy:

  • In what ways does my current career reflect my dreams?
  • In what ways do I feel long-term happiness?
  • In what ways am I actively healing my unresolved issues?
  • In what ways can I like myself more?
  • In what ways can I improve how I treat myself?
  • In what ways am I learning and growing each day?
  • In what ways am I building self-awareness each day?
  • In what ways am I becoming emotionally healthy each day?
  • In what ways can I improve how I interact with others?

Each day is an opportunity to become a more well-rounded individual in your personal or professional life. The key to being authentically happy is to move beyond temporary or superficial contentment to feeling fulfilled on a deeper level. You’ll know you’re genuinely happy when you think and function in a way that reflects who you really are deep inside. What will you do to be more self-aware and truly happy?

Cheers,

Guy

Dating Tips and Self-Awareness - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Dating Tips and Self-Awareness

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I’ve noticed that when people ask me for relationship advice a recurring questions is, “Why can’t I find anyone.” There are many ways people arrive at this conclusion. I’ll list them and put a self-awareness twist on each. In this way you can move in a different direction and find out how much power you really have to affect your dating life.

1. I keep going out with bad boys/girls. Different direction: I get myself healthy enough to recognize that it’s OK to treat myself well and go out with positive people.

2. I feel lonely. Different direction: I actively work on things that resolve why I am lonely and emphasize learning about myself before dating.

3. Where can I meet people? Different direction: When you get yourself healthy and do the things you love you move in circles where you attract people who are like you.

4. All men/women are terrible. Different direction: There are a lot of great people out there we just need to learn to accept them into our lives and be healthy enough to encourage good people to go out with us.

Hope these ideas help navigate the dating waters. Dating is ultimately what you make it; you have a lot of control over where it goes.

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Awareness and Being Kind to Yourself - On Developing Self-Awareness and Being Self-Aware

Self-Awareness and Being Kind to Yourself

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People are frequently quite hard on themselves and are constantly concerned about how well they are doing things. The key in life is to develop your self-awareness so you can truly understand your strengths and areas for improvement instead of just berating yourself over everything. Try this three-step process every day to start being kind with yourself.

1. Praise yourself for something you did today.
2. Do something positive that you enjoy.
3. Repeat every day.

Getting in the habit of doing these simple things can feel different at first but, over time, it leads to us doing things that make us feel good. It’s great when we can rely on ourselves rather than others to make us feel good. As you build your self-awareness you will begin to understand how to channel your emotions, thoughts, and behavior in a positive direction.

Next time you feel completely stressed out and about to explode, take a moment and try these steps instead of being hard on yourself. You are an amazing human being who deserves caring and affection. What will you do to be more self-aware and kind to yourself?

Cheers,

Guy

The Self-Awareness Guy