Many people who have relationship problems think that they can fix them themselves or get help from friends and family. The difficulty with this approach is that not everyone is qualified to help us find the answers we want. They may mean well and love us very much but they may not have a clue on how to actually fix a problem. Ask yourself the following questions next time you are looking for someone to help you with your relationship challenges:
- Does this person have a track record of expert relationship problem solving?
- Does this person listen unconditionally without giving advice?
- Does this person help you come up with your own answers?
- Is this person too close to the situation or not objective enough?
- Does the person have anything to gain from a specific outcome?
- Has this person had any training in fixing relationships?
These basic questions highlight the importance of getting help that will not only make you feel better or supported but, additionally, to find help that helps you create the results you want. The advice you get from others may be kind and supportive but does the problem go away?
I often hear from my clients that it is difficult to seek outside help. We are often taught that we need to fix things ourselves or should not trust anyone outside of friends and family. The good news is that a supportive coach has the skills and experience to help you move in any direction you choose.