The Self-Awareness Guy

Self-Awareness and Personal Development

How to Fix a Problem in Your Relationship

How to Fix a Problem in Your Relationship


Many couples reach challenging points in their relationship and don’t know what to do about them. We repeat an endless cycle of getting hurt, hurting back and perpetuating the hurt through our actions. This often happens even in dating situations and marriages where both people are kind, intelligent and caring. So what is it that causes this conflict and what can we do about it. Here are some of the causes of conflict:

  • Neither person understands the other person’s point of view.
  • There is not a meeting of the minds on issues.
  • Neither side backs down.
  • Each side tries to win.
  • Neither side has the skills or knowledge to fix the problem.
  • The people involved are hurt, angry, frustrated or sad.

The good news is that you can help your situation by thinking about new ways of doing things. The key point is to start a process where nobody wins and both of you collaborate to find a solution that works for both of you. Think of some of the following ideas and begin connecting with your spouse in ways that will benefit both of you.

  • Both agree to talk.
  • Set up an interruption-free time to talk.
  • Agree on one thing to talk about.
  • Brainstorm possible ideas to fix the problem.
  • Evaluate each option.
  • Agree together on the resolution that works best for both of you.
  • Work together to take action on the resolution.
  • Move to the next problem.
  • Think about getting a neutral person involved to mediate.

I also encourage my clients to do away with the word “problem” and look at the challenges in life as opportunities for movement in a more positive direction. Looking at challenging situations in a positive light gives you the opportunity to actually fix things rather than repeating the same patterns.

So the next time you are in the middle of a fight, redirect your thoughts to the possiblity that both of you can work together and purposefully resolve the matter.

Cheers,

Guy


You Are the Most Important Person in The World

You Are the Most Important Person in The World


We frequently give ourselves to others in ways that weaken our spirit and take us down a road we don’t want to travel. It’s almost as if we lose our sense of who we are and hand over our destiny to another person.

One of the reasons why relationships stagnate or engender conflict is that the parties have forgotten that they are the most important person in the world. We benefit by first understanding ourselves and working out our own issues and then entering relationships. In this way, relationships become about a connection between two or more healthy people rather than individuals who facilitate each other’s negative behaviors.

Think of yourself as the most important person in the world. Work on yourself first and you will attract people who will enjoy you for who you are, not for what they can get out of you.

Cheers,

Guy

10 Characteristics of Broken People

10 Characteristics of Broken People

Broken people live based on their unresolved hurts instead of striving to increase their self-awareness and become more balanced and healthy. Broken people don't like themselves, which means they do things like:

  • Treat themselves and others poorly.
  • Act out of self-interest.
  • Lack empathy.
  • Hurt others to get what they want.
  • Never resolve their own issues.
  • Think and behave in profoundly fearful and negative ways.
  • Don't understand their own thoughts and behaviors.
  • Thrive on conflict.
  • Build superficial or negative relationships.
  • Have to be on top of others.

It's not that people like this are intrinsically evil, it's just that they're not yet aware that there are other options in the world, like healing their inner hurts and traumas and moving in a healthier, more positive direction.

Individuals who feel great about themselves treat others well and make the world a better place for as many people as possible. They act out of compassion and kindness and help others grow and succeed. They value self-awareness and constantly work on becoming healthy and whole. What have you noticed about broken people?

Cheers,

Guy

Tap into Your Creativity

Tap into Your Creativity

People think that they have to be artists in order to be creative but anyone can use this skill to create success in their lives. Being creative simply means creating something where there wasn’t something before. It helps us tap into doing the things we love and exploring new avenues. Creativity can help us get out of a rut and discover new and exciting pursuits. Think of the following ideas when you are ready to get creative.

1. What do you love doing?
2. What can you create right this moment?
3. How could creating that thing improve your life?
4. How will you feel after you create this thing?
5. What will you do to continue being creative?

You will notice that these questions are designed to help you think about your creativity. Remember that there are no right or wrong answers or good or bad approaches. You get to decide what you want to work on and where you want to go. Take it easy on yourself: start with small steps and gradually work on bigger projects. The act of tapping into your creativity regularly will help you come up with ideas that could change your life.

Cheers,

Guy

Self-Awareness Means You Can Make Adjustments

Self-Awareness Means You Can Make Adjustments

People who are self-aware understand that not everything goes as planned all the time. A crucial part of self-awareness is the ability to make adjustments. Take the time to consider what's working and what needs to change in your life so you can get the results you want. Don't be afraid to make changes to your routine that will help you move forward. Here are some examples of the kind of adjustments you might make:

  • Let go of what doesn't work.
  • Heal the hurts from your past.
  • Invite people into your life who build you up.
  • Do things that help you learn more about yourself.
  • See a therapist or coach.
  • Do something different than what you do now.
  • Pursue your dreams.
  • Take the time to figure out who you are deep inside.
  • Live with courage.
  • Welcome change into your life.

Cheers,

Guy