The Self-Awareness Guy

dealing with emotions

Team Building: Healing Your Workplace

Team Building: Healing Your Workplace

Team building and healing are strongly linked in the workplace because teams can’t function well if everyone is walking around carrying personal grudges and hurts.  It often falls on the team leader to help everyone function effectively but it’s nearly impossible if he or she is carrying around a lot of negative energy.

There are many negative workplace experiences that affected people negatively.  Individuals sometimes hold on to these feelings for a long time even when they realize intellectually that they would be better off letting them go.  I train leaders and employees about how they can end this cycle of negative feelings and thoughts and build stronger teams and it almost always begins with healing.

Healing your workplace is one of the most important concepts for you and your employees’ well being and it begins with healing yourself.  If you think about it, you deal with people very differently when you are healthy rather than hurt.  If you want to create a work environment that is free of hurts from the past, then think about the following questions.

1.  What do I need to heal?

This question will help you define what it is that you need to look at.  There is no right or wrong answer, you get to decide what part of you or your workplace is hurt and then you get to heal it.  No issue is to small or trivial, if you need to heal it it is a valid starting point.  You can have several issues but try to pick one to start on.

2.  How will I heal myself?

There are many avenues you can take to heal yourself and they almost always involve getting help from an outside person who can help you get a clear perspective.  You benefit from realizing that you need help and then reaching out to someone who can partner with you to make it happen.  There is no right or wrong approach to healing, look for an approach that works for you.  Some people talk to a friend, others a therapist and others HR.

3.  How will I know that I am healed?

The goal of healing is to come to terms and feel at peace with the issues you face.  You will know you are healed when an issue no longer stirs negative feelings inside you.  You will also see improvements in your day to day work life because that issue won’t be affecting you in the same way.  Healing can take time so be patient and keep working on taking care of yourself.  Take it easy on yourself and only work on healing one thing at a time.  Once you feel better about one thing then you are then ready to move on to the next issue.

Do some careful thinking about these three questions and you will begin the process of discovering what hurts and how to heal it.  The idea is not to reopen terrible wounds and relive those moments, it’s to acknowledge that you have an issue and work on it.  Once you heal yourself you’ll be in a great position to help your team do the same.  The result is a workplace where people aren’t working out their personal stuff on each other.  How will you start healing your workplace?

Cheers,

Guy



Self-Awareness Reduces Anger

Self-Awareness Reduces Anger

One of the biggest benefits of building self-awareness is that it reduces anger. If you wake up each day and don't pursue your dreams, go to a job you hate, hang out with people who don't value the real you, stuff your feelings, or pretend you're fulfilled, you're very likely to be upset. Living this way leads to anger because you're just not happy. Here are some ideas on how you can use self-awareness to improve the situation:

  • Agree with yourself to move in a new direction.
  • Get to know who you are deep inside.
  • Understand your strengths and areas for improvement.
  • Choose one thing to work on.
  • Take action each day to create movement in your life.
  • Praise yourself each time you notice a positive change.
  • Repeat the process.

People feel unsettled and upset when they're not living authentically or doing things they find meaningful. What will you do to be less angry?

Cheers,

Guy



11 Ways to Improve Your Life Right Now

11 Ways to Improve Your Life Right Now

There's a big difference between letting life happen to you and consciously choosing what you think and do. You can live a happy, meaningful, and fulfilling life at any time by deciding that you're going to do it. If you're not quite sure how to begin, here are ten ways to improve your life starting right now:

  1. Let go of the need to control events and other people.
  2. Think and behave positively.
  3. Love yourself and others unconditionally.
  4. Heal your hurts, especially the ones you don't want to look at.
  5. Help others without expecting anything in return.
  6. Discover what you really want to do in life and take daily small steps to make it happen.
  7. Experience all your feelings and learn how to guide them in a positive direction.
  8. Spend time doing the things that matter in life; like working on your dreams or hugging your significant other.
  9. Surround yourself with people who appreciate the real you.
  10. Be open to increasing your self-awareness throughout your life.
  11. Be yourself.

Improving your life requires commitment and effort. Try these ideas and, over time, you'll improve your quality of life because you'll be thinking and behaving in ways that lead to deeper happiness. You don't have to everything at once, start with one item and then move on to the next. What will you do right now to improve your life?

Cheers,

Guy



7 Signs You’re an Emotionally Intelligent Boss

7 Signs You’re an Emotionally Intelligent Boss

Our workplaces are often designed to extract as much as they can from employees without regard for the fact that they’re thinking, feeling beings. This leads to things like burnout, turnover, lack of morale, interpersonal conflict, hurt feelings, misunderstandings and reduced productivity. When a boss doesn’t understand his own or his employees’ emotions it ultimately affects the bottom line because he’ll put band aids on people instead of dealing with their major wounds.

Emotional intelligence, the ability to handle your own and your employees’ emotions positively, is a frequently-ignored workplace tool. Even when faced with compelling evidence that people function on emotions all the time, as with the boss who is constantly angry, worried or happy, we choose to pretend it’s not happening. Emotionally intelligent bosses understand that they’re working with people, even when there are deadlines and goals to meet, and they create workplaces where individuals are comfortable feeling what they feel. Here are seven signs that you’re a boss who possesses emotional intelligence:

  1. You empathize and understand what other people are experiencing.
  2. You don’t react or fly off the handle when others disagree with you.
  3. You’re in touch with your own emotions and behave in a balanced way regardless of the situation.
  4. You create a work atmosphere where people can feel what they feel.
  5. You don’t view emotions as a threat or problem, just a normal part of the workplace.
  6. You encourage people to talk about what’s going on inside them.
  7. You make decisions based on treating people well and being emotionally healthy.

If you already practice these behaviors on a regular basis you know that it creates a workplace where people express themselves genuinely and interact positively. They don’t have to bottle things up or pretend they aren’t happening because they are able to deal with them. Bosses who are comfortable with their own and others’ emotions are able to create workplaces where people can feel and be themselves. They also experience much less of the, “What just happened here,” syndrome that permeates workplaces that don’t understand emotions.

The key to practicing emotional intelligence is to decide that it’s important and then teach yourself and your employees how to express emotions in a healthy way. You’ll be happy when you don’t have to pretend you work with robots. What will you do to be an emotionally intelligent boss?

Cheers,

Guy

The Person I Am Now

The Person I Am Now

I wasn't always into self-awareness. The person I am now is very different from the one I was years ago. I used to be driven by the need to feel superior, obsessed with what others thought about me; the kind of person who would put other people down to feel better about himself. At the same time, I stuffed my feelings deep inside, tried to ignore them and, consequently, felt horribly unbalanced and unhappy most of the time.

I grew up in a competitive family where you had to fight to be seen and heard. I was not encouraged to acknowledge or work out any of my inner conflicts, I simply had to hold them in and try to appear invincible. My family was ill-equipped to deal with anything emotional. Sure, we knew how to be angry, or sad, or fake happy, but not how to really deal with the core issues that were troubling us. The only way I got any attention was to be dramatic or clown-like because everyone else was so busy sucking all the energy out of everything they touched. This environment taught me to keep things to myself.

When was in my teens, I was an insecure mess who didn't know how to deal with himself or others. I was hurting constantly but was not allowed to talk about it. I didn't know how to build positive relationships. In my twenties I had no idea who I was and treated myself poorly because of it. People on the outside would probably say that I was affable and outgoing, but inside I was a mess. I hurt a lot of people in my teens, twenties, and thirties because I didn't know who I was.

Somewhere along the way I realized that I felt uneasy and disjointed because I wasn't living life as myself. I had learned to conform to the wishes of my family or friends but I hadn't learned to listen to my own inner voice. As soon as I discovered I could be myself, I started shedding all the garbage that had piled up on me and became a kinder, more empathic, more whole person. I pursued my own goals in life and worked hard to live genuinely. Gradually, I began building my self-awareness and healing the hurts from my past.

The person I am now barely resembles the one I used to be. I love being this person and hope it helps build a better world instead of one filed with strife and sadness. What kind of person are you right now?

Cheers,
Guy