The Self-Awareness Guy

healing yourself

How to Stop Being a Jerk

How to Stop Being a Jerk

How to stop being a jerk? Throw away what you’re currently doing and replace it with something more positive. People are jerks because that’s the only thing they know how to do but, luckily, even the most difficult person can change their habits if they truly want to. Here are some ideas to help you stop being a jerk:

  • Start with the idea that you’re not a bad person, just someone who got into a certain behavior pattern.
  • Realize that there is a way to do things that doesn’t involve discomfort, strife, and conflict.
  • Understand that you can actually get along with people.
  • Give yourself the gift of going to go see a professional therapist to work out the underlying issues (usually from your childhood) that have led to this point.
  • Keep working on yourself with the help of a therapist, explore changing the patterns you’ve established.
  • Learn new ways of recognizing, moderating, and applying your feelings, thoughts, and behaviors.
  • Give yourself a pat on the back for work well done.
  • Heave a sigh of relief that you can leave all the garbage behind.

Being a jerk is really about someone not knowing what else to do. We know have the knowledge to help people work through their issues and develop positive habits so they can enjoy life at home and at work. What will you do to get the process started?


15 Ways to Tell You’re a Bigot (And What You Can Do about It)

15 Ways to Tell You’re a Bigot (And What You Can Do about It)

Bigotry is about as far away from self-awareness as you can get. It means living a closed, scared, reactive life that doesn't do anybody any good, including the person being a bigot. I thought I'd write on this difficult subject because I really care about people being able to love themselves and others. There is a lot of hurt in our world and there are countless valuable individuals who are literally living in fear, pain, and rage instead of enjoying their time on this earth. I hope this article will help someone out there feel better about himself or herself and decide to live a life of joy. To start off, here are fifteen ways to tell you're a bigot:

  1. You can't stand when someone disagrees with your beliefs or views.
  2. You get angry or violent toward people who aren't like you.
  3. You live constantly angry at other people.
  4. You have difficulty being vulnerable around other people and are trying to keep them from seeing the real you and hurting you.
  5. You hate people who are different from you.
  6. You prejudge people before you get to know them.
  7. You hate people because of any number of things including how they look, talk, dress, worship (or not), or any other number of reasons.
  8. Only your opinions matter.
  9. You have difficulty accepting everyone.
  10. You feel powerless inside and act super tough to cover for it, or try to take away other people's power.
  11. You feel threatened by others.
  12. You have seen people give you a scared look when you tell them about your views.
  13. You believe in striking first before they strike at you.
  14. Conflict seems to find you.
  15. You don't ever really feel happy inside, even if you say you are.

The reason this subject means so much to me is that I've personally seen so many wonderful people give their lives away to hate and toxicity. They go from being human beings full of potential to angry creatures who hurt others. The good news about bigotry is that it's not a lifelong commitment, you can choose to move in a more positive direction at any time by doing things like:

  • Building self-awareness by understanding where your emotions, thoughts, and behaviors come.
  • Healing the hurts from your childhood.
  • Living a life of love and compassion.
  • Getting to know as many different kinds of people as possible and enjoying everything they have to offer.
  • Realizing how great life is when you're free of fear or hate.
  • Understanding how much you matter and how important it is for you to find what makes you happy deep inside instead of living a life where you're constantly getting angry at outside things.
  • Having the courage to go see a therapist to help you along the way.
  • Surrounding yourself with people who are soft, kind, compassionate, caring, accepting, and who will value the new you.
  • Taking action to do nice things for others every day.
  • Resolving to help build a better world for everyone.
  • Doing the things you really love in life.
  • Discovering the real you and celebrating yourself.

Look at both these lists and honestly ask yourself which one might feel better. In my experience, its the path of love and kindness that always leads to better results. It will take a lot of work to shift your old emotions, thoughts, and behaviors but the reward is that you'll get to live a life of self-awareness, peace, and happiness. I wish you all the best on your journey, I know you can do it.