Here's how to tell if you're a jerk in the office:
- People tell you you're being or acting like a jerk.
- You get in a lot of conflicts.
- People don't seem to genuinely like you.
- You don't get a lot of feedback from people because they've given up on you.
- You don't let other people talk.
- You don't listen.
- You impose your views on everyone.
- You've made people cry or get angry during your interactions with them.
- People's expressions aren't ones of happiness when they're talking with you.
- People avoid you.
- If you're in a leadership position, your employees have poor morale.
- You create discomfort and sometimes even chaos with the things you say.
- You hang out with other jerks.
- People don't let you in on what's going on in their departments unless you pry it out of them.
- You do things by force instead of by collaboration.
- You lead with fear.
The thing about being a jerk in the office is that it's reversible if you take some time to be self-aware and deal with what's causing your behavior. Here are five steps you can take to start moving on from being a jerk:
- Identify one thing you think you might be doing that is jerky, even if you're not entirely convinced that it is jerky.
- Ask yourself what you might be able to do differently that would lead in a positive direction.
- Practice that alternative behavior over and over until you get good at it.
- Make adjustments if you need to or see that it's not working.
- Repeat the process.
Most jerks, deep down inside, are not happy with their behavior but they don't know what to do about it. Use the five steps I've mentioned here and you'll be on your way to building some self-awareness about what you're doing and impacting your workplace positively.